6/30/15 Thought Patterns

How to Change Your Thought Pattern:
-Become aware of the nature of your thoughts
-DESIRE to actually want to change them
-Deliberately choose a more uplifting thought (any genuinely uplifting thought)/ lots of genuinely uplifting thoughts
-Repeat as many times as necessary heart emoticon

(Cheering. You. On♪ heart emoticon ♪) 

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6/30/15 Seen off of FB

6/26/15 Remember to Ask

6/26/15 Something to Remember♥

6/26/15 Thinking Out Loud

I think Pain demands to be felt so that Healing, which is optional, can begin.

6/25/15 PSA: WHERE do you WANT to go?

PSA: WHERE do you WANT to go?

Dear One, remember that you have a choice. Promise yourself that you are committed to being aware of the nature of the playlist of thoughts currently on repeat in your mind. And then, from that awareness, you have a choice as to whether to continue listening or whether to switch out the ones that aren't helping you feel more genuinely loving and compassionate to your spirit. There may be occasions when you successfully become aware but at the same time find it difficult to turn your thoughts around. Thing is, this awareness counts as the beginning of easing into that which is more inherently loving. It's okay to gently see-saw back and forth in this awareness: "I'm so annoyed right now. I am so angry. But this anger actually isn't helping me to feel better. Aaargh!!! You know, it's a good thing I'm not able to set things on fire with my mind. Yet. Sigh. I wouldn't really want to set things on fire with my mind. It could get out of hand and then the Fire Department would show up and I'd have some explaining to do... Okay, I'm angry. I am owning this and at the same time owning that I would much prefer a healthier way of working through this. Okay. You know what? This is where I am for now. So, I'm going to break things up. I'm going to look for things that help to uplift me. I can think of the last time I laughed and who I was with. I can think of something nice that I did for someone else or vice versa. I can thank the Universe for not helping me strengthen the ability to set things on fire with my mind. I can look up and appreciate the sky or take in the beauty around me." Etc. Etc. Etc. Use your ability to be able to choose what you think, to move you towards the direction you genuinely want to be moving in. And allow it to take as long or as short as it needs to. But it starts with knowing where you want to go, the commitment to being aware, having the desire and making an effort.

Cheering. You. On.

6/21/15 Entry (To the Fathers on Father's Day)

Dear Fathers, your presence makes a difference. Your heartfelt insights make a difference. All your efforts to connect, make a difference. You--individual, unique, special you--make a difference. Thank you for the unconditional love you help to anchor into both the world at large and into your children’s world. That’s me in the stands, filled with so much gratitude, holding the massive sign, “Cheering. You. On 

Father's Day 2 A.D.

“Thank you, my dear.”
Those were the last words I ever heard my father speak to me.
At the time, I didn’t know they would be the last words. 
I had called to check in on him and let him know I’d be visiting in a few days. He had been sick for some time, and I could tell his voice was fainter than it had been during prior calls. But even as I spoke to him on the phone, I believed he would get better. 
By the time I saw him, a few days later, he was no longer capable of speaking to anyone. He was “conscious.” But it wasn’t the same. And seeing him, I knew it was just a matter of time.
My core family unit was comprised of my father and mother, myself and my two younger brothers. Aside from waiting for me, he also waited for one of my brothers to make it home.
Sitting there at his bed side while my amazing, amazing mother took care of him, we kept saying, “He’s coming. Wait for him. He’s on his way. Please wait.”
My other brother, the youngest of the family, had already begun moving his things back home to help out my mother. He, too, was and is amazing. I am very blessed to be a part of my core family unit.
The day after the brother who was on his way made it home, twenty four hours after he rushed through the door, my father made his transition.
It’s been almost two years now.
I’ve added the words, “Thank you, my dear” and the act of waiting for my brother and myself to make it home so we could say our goodbyes in person, to the long list of things I’ll always be grateful to him for.
Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. And for everything that you’ve given me, and for the love I know you continue to give as you watch over me, thank you, my dear.

6/20/15 Observation (Family Watching)

I was sitting on the stoop and across the street spied a Hispanic family of five amidst their travels. Out in front was a young man, possibly around 14, pushing a carriage with a young child (I believe it was a little boy) who looked to be about 2 or 3 years of age. Behind them were two other children, both riding bicycles, a girl and a boy, 11 and 9 respectively. Finally, bringing up the rear, several feet behind, and pushing a heavy looking cart filled to the top with laundry bags, was the mother. Taking in the manner in which she pushed the cart, I empathized with my perception of the arduous task. My attention refocused on the children when the eldest shouted and broke out into a run, taking off with the carriage at full speed. His siblings cycled in hot pursuit, but the impromptu race was short lived when the eldest stopped at the apartment building on the corner of the street, about four or five feet from where the race had begun. Technically, he won. But I got the feeling that the victory was in fact awarded to the young child in the carriage, whose outstretched, skyward directed arms mirrored the fist in the air poses of many a sport’s champion. The eldest opened the door to the apartment building and wheeled in the carriage. His siblings got off their bicycles and walked them inside. By this time, the mother had also reached the apartment building. She turned around so as to enter the building backwards and pull her cart up the small step that separated the sidewalk and entrance. But the eldest came out again, said something which made her laugh and still laughing, she surrendered the cart to him. With his newly acquired cargo, he disappeared into the building and she followed suit. I like to think he lovingly teased her in the manner that relatively happy older children are somewhat fond of doing to their Mothers. I have two younger brothers and many a time have borne witness to this lovely, lovely exchange between them and my Mother.

6/19/15 Choosing to Walk with Patience

She awoke to the present moment with a start, and found herself standing in the woods. On either side of her stood Patience and Annoyance. Annoyance was speaking and somehow she knew Annoyance had been speaking for quite some time now. She felt herself conflicted. She instinctively knew she wanted to give audience to Patience, but at the moment, Annoyance had her ear and didn't seem to be fading anytime soon. But the more she listened to what Annoyance had to say, the more worked up she felt. Finally, tired of the tension and tired of feeling victimized, she looked Annoyance in the eye and said, quite frankly, “Stop.”
Then taking a deep, cleansing breath, she turned to Patience. “I’m still a little too close to Annoyance right now, so can we take a walk? I’d honestly love to hear more of your thoughts on the matter.”-- Breath's Possibilities☼

(image, Ransom Woods, sourced from google)

6/18/15 Entry (Pieces of You)

Salutations Most Radiant Lights♪☼♪

Here's to reclaiming all parts of ourselves with much love and heartfelt compassion and thereby opening the door to whatever healing makes our hearts sing and allows our lights to shine brighter and brighter heart emoticon

Blessings upon your day♪☼♪

Oracle Card from the Gaia Oracle

Card #22. SACRED JOURNEY ~Life cycles, Family, Transformation~ “Life is a physical journey through time and space, yet it is also a spiritual journey that transcends both time and space. Physically we are born of the earth and to the earth we shall return. Yet spiritually we are never born and we never die, we never come and we never leave. This card reminds you that we are each so much more than our physical realities. In fact, from our soul’s perspective, this current life is just one page in a never-ending book which is the eternal story of life. We are all characters in a play and we have each chosen different roles. Your family is a central part of this journey; each member plays their respective roles, each member your co-star and partner. Each play is designed for maximum dramatic effect otherwise it would all get very boring. In effect, we are all actors and we are each required to play our roles well. It is through our human drama we expand our understanding of love. The different roles we play and the people we encounter help us grow. Through drama we come to understand just how sacred life is. Thank your soul for the journey.------Affirmation-------The role I play in this life is transient/ I am in essence a being of light/ My family members are some of my greatest teachers/ All human drama helps me expand my awareness of love/ My soul is not confined by time and space”♥

6/16/15 Entry (Speak Up)

Salutations, Radiant Lights♪☼♪

Reminder for today is to speak up and speak from a place of as much love and clarity as is possible. Scott Stabile's picture post struck a chord with me. I can remember many times in the past when I felt someone should've "known better" or should've been able to see how I felt about this, that, or the other. And then, in some cases where a conversation was inevitable, by the time I "spoke" up, too much had already been building in silence for it to be resolved without having to navigate vast trenches of hurt between both camps. By not speaking up, I was doing all parties involved a disservice--including myself. Other people shouldn't have to read my mind and then be judged for not "getting it right." So, speak up. And I humbly implore you to remember to be conscious of the manner in which you are choosing to speak up. Because content and manner conveyed can make a world of difference.

Cheering you on♪☼♪

6/16/15 Observation (Sibling Interactions)

When I got off the subway train this morning, I noticed a family of four ahead of me. It was comprised of a mother and her three children—a tall, lanky, confident looking boy about 12 or 13 years of age, a slightly shorter boy who looked to be about 10 and a young, energetic girl who may have been 6 or 7. I was too far away to catch any of their conversation, but what drew my gaze to them was the sense of camaraderie I felt between all the children. At the beginning of our travels together, the eldest boy and the young girl were closer to me and the mother and other boy were a few feet in front of them. As the little girl, free spirited in demeanor, was looking up at him and laughing, the older boy smiled down in return and reached out, clasping her hand in his. Around the same time, the younger boy looked back at them, and his face broke out into a grin. A few steps later, the older boy had the younger girl in a loose headlock and, as though mocking his physical display of older sibling dominance, she made no struggle in captivity but laughed and laughed and laughed. At another point during the journey, the two boys were walking side by side while the little girl stopped to briefly wave at a black colored pug whose coat was being treated to a very affectionate and vigorous rub by his/her human guardian. I did note that though the mother stayed in the front for the most part, she did look back, from time to time, to take in the whereabouts of the children. There was something about her approach that felt like it fostered (or could foster) a healthy confidence and independence in the children and their sense of self in the world smile emoticon Finally, our journey “together” came to an end when they made a turn onto another street. I hope they all have a wonderful day smile emoticon I'm really glad to have borne witness to their early morning interactions.

6/10/15 Observation (Thank you, Mr. Con Edison Man)

On my way to work this morning, I spied a blind couple up ahead waiting at the traffic light.  I’ve seen this couple, a man and woman—possibly in their Fifties--travelling together on countless occasions in and around the neighborhood.  Usually the man is in front with the lady not too far behind, both with their white cane sticks and oftentimes engaged in conversation.  I’ve actually seen the woman at the gym.

On the side of the street, a Con Edison van was parked and two men in Con Edison gear were working around a manhole next to the van.  As I got closer to the blind couple, I saw one of the men notice them and ask if they needed assistance crossing the street.  At this point, the light had changed and so I passed by as the blind couple assured him that they were okay and thanked him for his offer.  I found myself really proud of that Con Edison worker and silently thanked him too.

Playing a Part in Your Healing Journey

How long will you mourn?

I ask not from a place of judgment or condemnation,

But truly, on behalf of your wellbeing.

On behalf of your heart.

On behalf of a clarity that asks you to make a choice,

when you realize a choice can be made.

Grief is a force that deserves her due-- it’s true.

And so if she calls on you, then mourn

By all means, do!

Honor the rush of tears determined to be shed--

The tears and cries of anguish and sadness that breaks through

Catching you unawares.

But there is a difference between being a prisoner of Grief,

And being a willing prisoner of Grief.

The former forgets she is still capable of Love.

The latter chooses not to try.

The former forgets he can still receive Love.

The latter chooses not to allow it in.

Again, I pray, do not misconstrue--

Mourn for as long as you feel called to.

But desire to heal as well, I pray.

Please, desire to heal-- come what may.

And still, for a time, Mourning will take the lead.

And then one day, Healing will match in speed

And finally, one day, however long it takes,

Healing will inch forward, Healing will take its place. ©2015 IO aka Breath's Possibilities

A Shout Out to Human Beings

☼This world is full of many amazing people doing the best that they can with where they are and what they have. Sometimes enough of a light switch gets turned on their plight so others can bear witness and offer assistance in anyway they feel they can.  Sometimes, they and the angels are the only ones who see what they’re doing to overcome or to make ends meet or to spin straw into an invaluable type of gold for their circumstances.  When I hear or read about people such as these, I say, “Mere mortals, my foot! Human beings are much more capable than we give ourselves permission to be.”  To the people of the world overcoming, God Bless you. And to those helping them to overcome, God Bless you.  Thank you for reminding me of the resilience of the human spirit.

My Sometimes Brand of Goofy

Depending on the situation, sometimes, I genuinely get a kick out of responding to certain friends with song lyrics—seamlessly integrating the lyrics (when my smile doesn’t give me away  ) into conversation. Sometimes I use lines from Shakespeare or poems that I’ve committed to memory. But much of the time, and depending on the company, it’s song lyrics. For example, someone might come to me saying s/he is tired of being told what to do. Depending on the given circumstances, I might nod in sympathy; place a hand on his or her shoulders and reply, “I’m getting tired of being told to put my hands up in the air. So there.”

It’s rewarding when s/he gets the reference and replies with a laugh or chooses to play along (an example of the latter would be s/he saying to me, “So what you’re saying is ‘just throw your hands in the air, and wave ‘em around like you just don’t care.’ To which I might reply, “I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord…” Depending on the friend, we could go on like this for a bit—riffing off of a word in the last proffered lyric). Now, to speak true, I do have friends who will either reply with a groan or shake their heads as if to say, “How are we friends?”

Even if they don’t get it, a part of me is still tickled and I’d most likely explain what I just did—even if the person on the receiving end gives me a series of expressions which, loosely translated, add up to, “Sometimes I worry about you.” (I have very caring friends  )

And I’m OK with any of those responses. Because I make peace with my sometimes goofiness.

Hope you crack yourself up today (and if you crack others up as well? Bonus). Good luck out there ♥

Consciousness

☼Consciousness.  It is an act of bravery. It is an act of self love. When one becomes aware, commend yourself for taking this brave step towards clarity.  The second part to this, and equally as important, is how you choose to proceed from this point on. Be gentle with yourself and trust that you’ll do the best that you can in any given situation.  Pat yourself on the back when you feel you’ve taken a conscious step in the direction you desire.  And pat yourself on the back when you realize you’ve taken a step in the direction you don’t consciously desire to proceed further on.  Pat yourself on the back because in both scenarios, you are choosing to be aware.  And then, particularly in the case of taking a step in the direction that takes you away from the path you desire to walk upon, deliberately choose again.  One foot in front of the other, fellow sojourners, all the while remembering that in this moment, right here, you can always, always choose again.

Blame

☼Dear Hearts, be on guard against that smooth talker, Blame. He’s highly adept at making you think the problem lies elsewhere. He’s highly adept at making you believe that you are a victim. We do not have to be victims. Blame tempts you to look outside of yourself, your thoughts, your actions, your inactions. When Blame walks in, don’t be so easily seduced. Look at yourself and be honest with yourself. What role did you play or did not play in regards to the situation in question?  What red flags did you consciously or subconsciously choose to overlook?

The Issue

☼ The issue isn’t that you got upset.  The emotion is there for a reason.  The issue is you chose to place the subject/ topic that triggered the upset into a bottle, seal it up, label it “Shame on You!” and now every time you see or think of the subject you’re continuing to perpetuate the perception of guilt. Forgive. Forgive others. Forgive yourself of so called faults. Forgive yourself for beating yourself up. It’s OK. It’s all for learning. You’re going to graduate with flying colors♥☼

Anger

Anger doesn’t always deserve to be placed in the category of being a negative.  There are many scenarios where being angry actually provides a much needed impetus towards healthy change. But nothing good (as far as I can think of) ever came out of living from a place of anger. So it really comes down to what we end up making of it. Now, sometimes we say, “Arrgh, you make me so angry” or “You love to push my buttons!”  But as much as we don’t like to admit it, we allow the other to make us so angry and if our buttons are getting pushed, we have to figure out how to move out of the way so the pushing can’t touch us ;)  Alas, it’s not always so easy.   But it’s worth remembering that we’re choosing to respond in this manner and not putting it all on someone else’s doorstep. Perhaps once we take responsibility for our way of reacting, perhaps once we take ownership and make peace with the fact that we’ve chosen to respond in this manner, perhaps then we can open up a big enough window of conscious desire to choose another response.  From the heart, Cheering. Us. On ♥

A Poem from 2007

☼On the road of life I went walking and spied you up ahead.

Easily I caught up and matched you step for step.

We walked in this fashion for about a mile.

Life happened.

It was what it was.

One day, you picked up the pace and broke into a jog.

Not giving it a second thought, I followed suite.

(Not giving it a second thought, I left my self behind)

(Not giving it a second thought, two had now left one)

Then you began to run.

I struggled to catch up and laughed at the irony:

There was a time I’d say in jest,

‘I’d never run unless I was being chased.’

(Ah, irony)

I caught up several times, but you seemed to pick up speed.

Finally I stopped.

You continued north.

I headed east.

On the road of life I went walking, the trees and sky my companions.

After about a mile, I spied a familiar face.

The one that two had left behind caught up.

But one was not the same as one once was.

With unconditional love, one smiled at me with open arms.

I hugged her tightly, tears blurring my vision.

I cried for her, I cried for me.

On the road of life went walking the naïve and the seasoned.

Talking the best of both personas, two became whole.

On the road of life I went walking and one day I smiled.

Everything happens the way it should.

All things work together for good. (2007?)

Discipline

I am trying to be more disciplined.

I haven't written on this blog in awhile.

In some ways, I've been floating through my life.  But saying that is a bit of a disservice since I've been engaged in day to day adventures-- some extraordinary, some joy filled, and some adventures that bring to mind my shadow's existence.  But I haven't felt inspired to note any of the aforementioned on anything other than in the annals of recorded memory.  Of course there's a good chance that in the annals of recorded memory, I'd have a hard time extracting said memories but then  part of me believes that if I needed to, I would be able to extract what was being called upon.

I used to journal somewhat religiously.  In my possession, I have several journals filled to the brim with thoughts comprised over the years.  And, to be perfectly honest, every once in awhile, I look at the notebooks and feel I want to burn them.  Primarily because those journals were not being kept for public consumption.  They were a place for me to work through thoughts briefly housed during a specific period in time.   In fact, it was so time specific, I can't say when last i picked up an old journal just to see where I was or how far I've come since it's genesis.

I suppose that exercise would be interesting--bringing up feelings akin to those one might associate with looking through old pictures.  But I'm still not convinced that holding on to them serves a greater purpose.  And I think that is part of the reason I've been lax in keeping up with the journaling.

That being said, I feel I must continue to write and be better disciplined in the exercise of writing since the practice can only help me in my chosen profession as a writer.  And what better way to practice than to journal?  Ahh, the irony ;)