Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Happy Holidays, and New Year Wishes

For me, 2021, felt/feels like an in-between year. Akin to being on the cusp of new beginnings, at least externally. This is to say, internally, I’ve already experienced and continue to experience new beginnings—new way of seeing things that feel healthier for me, new ways of addressing things—trying on new shoes to see what’s a good fit, letting go of that which I feel I’ve outgrown, knowing all the aforementioned will continue because, life 😉 and because I’ve set this intention-- it’s important to me.

There have been some missteps. But I learn-- am learning—and, as soon as I remember, I work on enveloping myself in compassion and grace. I am looking forward to 2022—not because I have any previews of how any of the To Be Continued chapters will turn out. I’m looking forward to 2022 because I feel the new beginnings sprouting in my inner world will, at some point, show up in ways that are nourishing and nurturing in the outer, and 2022 seems as good a time as any for that to begin 😉

As we travel these last few weeks and, soon to be, days of 2021, I want to take a moment and wish you peace and trust and hope and strength and courage and faith in yourself and your ability to navigate your journey as best as you are able, even if gravity seems to keep shifting beneath your feet. Not long ago, a friend on FB posted a quote (I believe from Doctor Who—I’m not sure, haven’t seen the episode) and the gist of it was that, “The mission is Love.” I replied to him with something along the lines that underneath it all— from the experienced hardships, the extraordinary joys and everything in between, I think it is about love (lol, nothing new there)—but I’d add, healthy, healing love, first and foremost in our relationships with ourselves and from there, in our relationships with others. I emphasize healthy and healing. Those two words, gifted to ourselves first, and then extended to others.

What's healthy? What's healing? I guess that depends on how it ultimately feels to you and in order to figure it out, it’s worth the intentional practice. I believe.

And with that, folks, I bid you, Happy Holidays 🙂 And at the end of it, wishing you all a Happy New Year. Whatever you encounter, may the choices you make be full of healthy, healing love to you from you and from there, to others. Sincerely wishing you all the best. Cheering. You. On.

Aloe Vera Gel and Vitamin E Oil Experience

Early last week, I had an incident with undiluted tea tree oil and ended up with, approximately, a dime sized burn on part of my face 😬 I went to a locally owned health food store, spoke to the owner and ended up purchasing some aloe vera gel and a small bottle of vitamin E oil. After about a week of using the aloe vera gel, aplying the gel daily and placing a fresh bandaid over it, I’m delighted to say the burn/scarring is practically non-existent! Seriously, it's like magic 😁😅 Alas, after a day or two of trying the vitamin E oil, I stopped post haste as it appears that it makes my skin itch—luckily that’s the only allergic reaction that came out of that experiment🙏🏿Online research showed that some folks do experience allergic reactions to vitamin E oil. Sharing in case it’s helpful to folks.

An Experience at Physical Therapy

I’ve been going to a Physical Therapy practice for a few months now:  I go in, receive electrical stimulation therapy, perform my home program, work out on the bicycle, and finish with a stretching session, ultrasound, and cryotherapy-- the latter three administered by a therapist.

 

It seems to be a small staff in what can quickly become, with a lot of clients, a snug space.  When I’ve been there, clients always appear to be waiting: for an available station/ bed, a machine, or a therapist. The other day, after my exercises, I, once again, found myself sitting around, waiting for a therapist.

 

PT 1 was working on someone and apologized for the wait time.  I asked him how long he thought it might take.  He replied, “Ten minutes.”  I told him I’d check upstairs for availability.

 

On the first floor, two therapists were sitting by one of the office desks stations.   PT 2 was on his cellphone, and PT 3 appeared to be resting (she seemed to have come in with an injury that day—she had been moving slowly earlier).  Addressing my question to another employee, I asked G if someone was available since PT 1 had a client downstairs.

 

G turned to PT 2, but his expression and body language indicated reluctance and exasperation.  I’m not certain, but he may have just finished with a client not too long ago.  I am certain that he felt it was PT 3’s turn to take a client.  Judging by her body language and expression, PT 3 was also reluctant, which, maybe, had something to do with her physical state.  The upshot was PT 3 would work on me.

 

As I watched G get out the cleaning supplies, walk over and begin getting a station ready, I was still replaying the exchange between her and her colleagues.  It was clear that these PTs did not want to take a client at that precise moment.  But that exchange shouldn’t have happened in front of me—especially since, on the surface, it just looked like they were sitting around.  Because it did take place in front of me, it was unprofessional and should have been acknowledged via an apology or an explanation, or both.

 

I approached G, told her I would wait for PT 1 then left. 

 

Downstairs, I sat at a station until PT 1 was available.  When he came over, he apologized again for the wait time.

   

PT 1, an older gentleman, only works at this site once a week.  PT 2 and 3, possibly in their mid to late twenties, are the primary PTs for the practice, along with the owner and two others.  I didn’t say anything to the owner.  I’ve been coming to this practice for a few months now and, based on the observations I’ve made, I didn’t feel telling the owner would help.  Even now, a day after the incident, I still stand firmly by that decision.  But I might speak to G since she bore witness to it all and let her do what she wants with the information...

 

I feel I did the best I could in those circumstances; I took ownership of what I could.  Energetically, after their exchange, it didn’t sit well with me to have PT 2 or PT 3 work on me.  Since I had the time, I would wait and work with a therapist who wanted a client.

Thursday, December 9, 2021

Notes from a Podcast Episode

There’s a way to communicate your feelings to someone else without injuring the other person. If you’re not taking their feelings into consideration, then you’re not truly communicating; there is no thought towards emotional safety. How are you showing up? Are you demonstrating care for your listener? You can get your point across without setting out to intentionally hurt the other person. If you’re going hard, you’re damaging yourself and the relationship. Compassion is important— communicate what you’re feeling and how you’re feeling in a way to build the relationship —not hurt it. Communicate in a way that you can be heard and the message can be received. If you’re yelling or speaking in a tone that is overpowering or dismissive or intended to make the other person feel bad or less than, that will not build the relationship; it will hurt it.

— Notes I took while listening to The King of the Heart podcast, (KOTH) Season 2, Episode 15. Took the notes some time ago. Found them again and wanted to share. 

Monday, December 6, 2021

Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school this week. Wishing you all my heartfelt best with your inner and outer travels. Take loving care. As best as you are able. Cheering. You. On.

Friday, December 3, 2021

The B41 Bus To...

I was on the B41 bus when the lady with the thick honey blonde mane, sitting across the aisle, one seat ahead, turned to the older Black woman two seats in front of me and asked, “B41 to Kings Plaza?”

“Oh no,” replied the older woman. Her delivery, dry, but with a slight note of pity woven in.

The lady across the aisle started to ask more questions.

“Oh, I don’t speak Spanish,” the older woman interjected, this time, matter-of-factly.

The lady nodded.

“But," the woman continued, “You can get off at the next stop to catch the correct bus.”

There are two B41 buses; one goes to Bergen Beach, the other to Kings Plaza. Belatedly, a few passengers riding the Bergen Beach bus will, eventually, realize that they’re on the wrong one. Because it happens often enough, one stop before the route diverges, the bus drivers announce via the loudspeaker: “This is the B41 to Bergen Beach, not Kings Plaza. If you need Kings Plaza, you’ll need to get off at the next stop.”

Watching the lady across the aisle, I wanted to tell her to get a transfer from the bus driver before exiting. But then I thought it could be presumptuous of me to assume she wasn’t aware of that. Not to mention, I also didn’t speak Spanish, so I didn't know how that would work.

Sitting in front of me was a gentleman. While he and the older woman had boarded the bus together, I was uncertain whether they knew each other. She and I had been waiting at the bus stop, watching as a B41 bus to Bergen Beach was filling up with passengers. He had seen the bus from afar and ran over with the intent to get on.

By the time he had arrived, the bus was practically packed. As he stood, deciding whether to squeeze in, the woman told him another would be pulling up in a few seconds. Thanking her, he laughed, stating one never knew how things would go with this particular bus route.
He was correct. Five B41 buses to Kings Plaza could pass by before one to Bergen Beach showed up. Therefore, aside from wanting to get home, coupled with wanting to get out of the cold, and evening beginning to make an entrance, had the woman not shared the information about a second bus approaching, it’s likely he would have squeezed onto the first.

When we had boarded the bus, he and the woman continued speaking; I tuned out until the lady across the aisle inquired about the bus destination.

As I sat, contemplating if I could assist the lady, I saw the gentleman lean towards the woman in front of him and point something out on the screen of his iPhone. She nodded, and as the bus was pulling up to its stop, the lady across the aisle stood up. But before she could take a step, the gentleman turned his screen to her. Taking it in, she nodded, expressed her thanks, then dashed off.

Curious, I asked him what he showed her. Turning towards me, he held up the phone, and I could see words written in Spanish. He then explained that there was a Translate App on his iPhone.

"I often use it to mess around and send texts to my friends who speak other languages.”

“That was really wonderful of you to take the time to use it to help her out!” I replied.

“Oh, well, that’s kind of you to say." His tone doing the double duty of accepting the compliment and, at the same time, almost downplaying it.

I found myself stressing how big a deal it was; she was already frazzled about boarding the wrong bus, the additional language barrier was another hurdle to navigate. We then had a brief conversation about getting on the wrong bus. He admitted to doing so a few times. I proffered that, while it's unfortunate to have the experience, at least he's more likely to double-check before boarding. He laughed and said he still had his moments.

At this point, the bus came to our stop, and as he and the woman stood to exit out the front, I moved towards the back. He wished me well, I returned the sentiment. And as the doors opened, I thought of how wonderful it was he had felt the pull to help the lady, and how happy I was to know I had that app on my phone should I ever need to use it in the future.

 

Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today. Always check in with yourself, first. Try to get clear, for you, what’s important.  Have a point of view on what this is for you.  Then, if you’re still feeling unsure regarding how to proceed, turn to someone you trust.  This can be difficult.  There are those in our lives who want the best for us and understand that how they may approach things, while right for them, isn’t necessarily right for you and the life you’re creating.  Knowing you’ll make the decision that feels right for you, they’ll still share their insights and make peace (or not 😉) with your final decision. They might even press a little bit more to see if they can sway you.  But you know, ultimately, they’ll honor your final decision. There are those who want the best for us but find it hard to allow you to live the life you’re creating.  They’ll share their insights (sometimes unsolicited 😉) and you’ll know, without doubt, how they’ll feel if you make a different choice. You’ll know even if it’s unsaid as energy speaks volumes. And there are those we don’t feel compelled to turn to (and it’s important to notice & be clear on the why of this). Every chance you get, go to those who will share their advice and still extend energetic freedom (with no traces of withholding love) for you to decide how you, ultimately, want to proceed. And when the circumstances are reversed, I implore you to be that person for someone else.   All the best with your inner and outer travels. Cheering. You. On. 

Thursday, December 2, 2021

Cheering. You. On.

Yes, they can be hard. But whenever you can have these conversations and you're wondering if it's worth it, remember that your contribution to genuine inner peace is always worth your effort. Cheering. You. On.

 


Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Integrity vs Loyalty. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today.  Over the weekend,  I was listening to an audiobook and the word, Loyalty, kept coming up as the trait to praise/ aspire to.  But I kept wanting to switch it to, Integrity. ‘twas a work of fiction straddling two worlds: a present-day city in America and a fantasy world with dragons, magic, elves, and circumstances resulting in the need for a leader in the latter, to fight for and protect the land from the forces of evil. Every time loyalty was brought up, all I could see was the expectation that one should feel beholden: to something, someone, or an idea outside of them, and the potential dangers of such an expectation from oneself or others.  At a point in the story, character A says to character B that the reason B couldn’t believe C would turn against their land and people was due to B's loyalty to the land and people.  But I argued (out loud) that it was because, first and foremost, B has Integrity.  First, he considers and then he acts in alignment with his own ethical code, weighing matters and making decisions based on those beliefs. At the end of the day, I know the author wrote, loyalty. But I can’t help but feel that integrity is more important.  Had to get it off my chest 🙃 All the best with your inner and outer travels.  Cheering. You. On.

Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Good Luck in Earth School Today. Societal Expectations/ Social Contracts and You. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today.  It’s good to take a second, third, fourth look at societal expectations/ social contracts that tempt you to shrink from your true feelings on a matter.  If you’re going along with the “crowd” on something “big” or “small” because it’s what you’ve always done, or because it’s what is expected but something within is niggling at you and (perhaps, has been for some time), saying, “This isn’t right for you”, create time and space to get clear on 1) why this not-so-silent struggle is unfolding within and 2) what would happen if you honored the inner nudges to stop putting energy towards what you’re not aligned with or what you’re no longer aligned with?  Another way of looking at it is to ask, “What feels healthier and more loving within me and, consequently, the life I’m consciously creating?” All the best with your inner and outer travels.  Cheering. You. On. 

Monday, November 29, 2021

Good Luck in Earth School Today. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today.  Wishing you more conscious experiences of extending healthy, loving, energetic support to yourself and grace to others (PS—You benefit from that extension of grace to others, too). All the best with your inner and outer travels.  Cheering. You. On. 

Friday, November 26, 2021

Good Luck in Earth School Today. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today.  If you’ve ever lightened someone’s load, if you’ve ever endeavored to bring a smile to someone face, if you’ve ever taken the time to listen to someone working through something they’re experiencing as tough, if you’ve ever silently sent love or a prayer of assistance to someone, if you’ve ever taken time to compassionately explain something to someone, if you’ve ever gone out of your way to help someone just because you wanted to or felt it was the right thing for you to do, thank you.  That’s you making a difference in someone else’s life.  That’s you putting some love, some compassion out into the world. Sometimes, it’s acknowledged and sometimes it isn’t. But the energy that you have spent, the time, the care, just because you decided to, has made and does make a difference.  Even if you never bear witness to it.  Wanted you to know that. All the best with your inner and outer travels.  Cheering. You. On. 

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Cheering. You. On. (Thanksgiving Day in the U.S.)

Wishing you a happy day, full of giving thanks and counting blessings. And a genuine heartfelt thank you for all the love you put out into the world (including the love you're showing yourself/ nourishing & treating yourself to). All the best with your inner and outer travels. Cheering. You. On. 

Card 11/25/21

Sharing one of the cards I drew today in case it’s helpful to you, too. All the best with your inner and outer travels. Cheering. You. On.  (Card is from The Wild Offering Oracle by Tosha Silver)



 

Wednesday, November 24, 2021

Good Luck in Earth School Today. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today.  Over the weekend, I saw a quote, “May you have the courage to break the patterns that are no longer serving you.”  I’d like to extend that wish to all of us but exchange, “break” for “heal.”  To me, the latter feels like it acknowledges a process, as well as carries the energy of the mental, emotional, physical & spiritual journey and outcome that I’d prefer to experience as it unfolds.  Now, a healing journey sometimes feel anything but.  Still, setting that clear intention is a way to continue to check in with your actions/interactions (i.e., “Umm, so, currently, for the record, this feels like a whole lotta suck…But am I making decisions that I genuinely feel will help me? As sucky as this currently appears on an external level, does this feel like my right decision/feel like it’s aligned with my desire to work towards healing? Yes? Okay. So, we’re saying, yes? Okay then.  Good to know. So, onwards; one foot in front of the other, etc.”).  All the best with your inner and outer travels.  Cheering. You. On.

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Cards 11/ 23/21

Sharing some of the cards I drew for my day in case it’s helpful to you, too. All the best with your inner and outer travels. Cheering. You. On. (Deck used is The Wild Offering Oracle by Tosha Silver)



Good Luck in Earth School Today. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today.  Beat the drum of what’s working.  Acknowledge what’s not working and how you might play your part in helping to turn that around. Or acknowledge how you can contribute to making peace with where things are now as you continue to figure out/ be open to that which contributes to a more lasing peace. But also beat the drum of what’s working.  Beat that drum and be genuinely present with the acknowledgment.  Beat that drum because your spirit/ your energy/ your inner child needs and deserves that upliftment, that acknowledgment, that step towards centering & emotional balance from you.  All the best with your inner and outer travels.  Cheering. You. On. 

Friday, November 19, 2021

Good Luck in Earth School Today. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today. Gift yourself that which sparks in you, feelings of joy. And be present with it. It doesn’t have to cost money or be a literal physical gift. Show yourself some love and luxuriate in the experience. I hope you will. Cheering. You. On. 

Thursday, November 18, 2021

Good Luck in Earth School Today. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today.  Whatever you encounter, or whatever you’re already navigating, may you continue (or perhaps begin) to feed the energy of trust. Not so much trust for a very specific outcome. But trust that you’ll meet what is before you and you’ll do the best with what you can and where you are. Not someone else’s version of what would be best; your best. Not your best from yesterday or two months ago or two years ago, but your best from where you are right now— physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically, spiritually.  And again, not so much trust for a very specific outcome. Of course, if there’s a specific outcome you’re focused on, one that you feel would genuinely contribute to your well-being, I’m not saying, “Chuck it.” But I’m saying, “Also be open to something better.” Add that into the thought mix. And then be, truly, open to something better. All the best you in your inner and outer travels. Cheering. You. On.

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

Good Luck in Earth School Today. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today. May you notice those experiences that contribute to uplifting your spirit.  And may you extend compassion and patience and forgiveness to the experiences that trigger the opposite. All the very best to you in your inner and outer travels.  Cheering. You. On. 

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

Good Luck in Earth School Today. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today. If there are roadblocks on your path from A to B, may you first remember to breathe (slowly and as many times as needed). And then keep, deliberately, turning your attention towards how to flow through the unexpected with grace & compassion for the part of you that wants to insist, perhaps even violently, that this-roadblock-has-some-nerve-insinuating-itself-in-your-way-and-not-thinking-to-clear-it-with-you-beforehand. We try to control things. Even if you are actively working on not grasping so much for those reins, from time to time, before you realize it, you’ll look down and it’s, “Wait-what-Hand?! What are you doing?!”  It’s ok. No shame. We’ve dedicated a lot of life hours to the habit of attempting to control. What’s important is what you choose to do in this now moment when facing said roadblock. May you catch yourself, take those conscious slow breaths, and then see how you can gently proceed. All the best to you. Cheering. You. On. 

I'd like to draw your attention to an LR Knost quote

I love this: "So don’t ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer."

The larger quote reads:

“Parenting has nothing to do with perfection. Perfection isn’t even the goal, not for us, not for our children. Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals of gentle parenting. So don’t ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer. That is perfect parenting.”

― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline 

Monday, November 15, 2021

Good Luck in Earth School Today. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today.  May you make decisions that move you closer to peace—move you closer to a true sense of peace felt within or move you closer to a clear knowing that “this” will contribute to healthy peace for you-- even if it’s a delayed experience of external peace due to external factors. I’d like to draw your attention back to the words, “move you closer to” and “healthy peace for you.” “Move you closer to” because, sometimes, it’s a process and we forget to honor the process—we forget that the decisions (big or small) still count (and are worthy of a mini, internal parade) even if the result isn’t “insta-peace.” And, “healthy for you” because “peaceful” decisions made at the expense of your peace, aren’t; you should be part of the equation. Yes, sometimes, given the circumstances, this is hard and easier said than done. But, sometimes, it's hard because we haven't actually considered the importance of our peace of mind, too. All the best to you.  Cheering. You. On.

Thursday, November 11, 2021

Cheering. You. On.

May triumphs, peace filled experiences, clarity & blessings be interwoven throughout your today. And to everyone experiencing a really hard extended moment, I’m sorry that it feels so hard. Sending love. Praying you connect to all the assistance & insights you could need. Holding heart space for your persevering and triumphs. Cheering. You. On. Truly. 

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

Cheering. You. On.


 

Cheering. You. On.

Give yourself permission to choose the better feeling thought.

-- Dawn Lianna, M.A.

Cheering. You. On.

-- Me 😉 😊

Monday, November 8, 2021

Cheering. You. On.

Whenever you can. As best as you are able. Cheering. You. On. Truly.


 

Sunday, October 31, 2021

An Unexpected Kindness

I was out and about in the world today. Partly to save money, as well as for exercise purposes, and to enjoy being outside on this sunny, fall day, I made the decision to walk. Twenty minutes in one direction, I arrived at the atm machine where I withdrew the rest of the rent money. Then 45 minutes from there, in the opposite direction, I ventured into the new Dollar store that opened this past week before finally making my way to Target. By the time I left Target, purchases in hand, it was getting late; I wanted to take the bus home. I crossed the street to the bus stop and, after about 10 minutes of waiting, I was approached by an older gentleman. Though there were other people waiting at the various bus stops nearby-- including a few standing next to me, he made eye contact, approached, and without saying a word, held out a bus transfer card. At first, not comprehending what was going on, I shook my head. But then I realized he was gifting it to me! It’s likely that at the beginning of his travels, he’d boarded a bus, paid the fare, took the transfer card that he was entitled to (he could use it to get on another bus --expiring two hours after its purchase), and now that he was at his destination, decided to gift the transfer to someone waiting at a bus stop. And that person was me! Happily, I thanked him as he waved and walked away. Minutes later, still smiling, my bus arrived. I got on, entered the transfer card into the appropriate slot, watched it disappear, then made my way to a seat. During the bus ride, upon exiting, and on the walk to where I live, I kept thinking of that man and his kind gesture. I just kept thanking him and the Universe for the lovely and helpful experience. I wish him well :)

 

Monday, October 25, 2021

Thoughts on some words. And Cheering. You. On.

It can be hard to consider when we find ourselves quicksand deep in certain interactions. It can be hard to consider when we feel blindsided by an exchange that escalates, seemingly, out of nowhere. It can be hard to consider when the moment has passed but we keep revisiting it— keep triggering the wounding. But I post in hopes that, at some point, you’ll consider this and it’ll help you work through any relationships you’re navigating or any interactions you encounter. If it can, even a little, genuinely contribute to easing the heart and mind, if it can help contribute, even a little, to the extension of grace, I think it’s worth considering. Good luck. Cheering. You. On.



Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Cheering. You. On.

Help someone out today. Touch someone's heart. Remember the times when your heart has been touched or you were gifted a random act of kindness-- in the form of actions or words. I know when those memories pop up for me, it feels like I'm receiving the gift again. So, if you're feeling up for it, put some love, some light out into the world today. In any way that you feel you can. Thanks in advance. Cheering. You. On.

Sunday, October 10, 2021

Cheering. You. On.

It may be hard. Perhaps, you're out of practice or perhaps you've never truly practiced. But your kindness to yourself is vastly important. You are the one living in your skin. The words you choose to tell yourself has more impact than anyone else's words. So, please do try. And keep doing so. You are worthy of your own kindness. Cheering. You. On.

Saturday, October 9, 2021

Cheering. You. On.

Wishing you a day of thriving (however that looks and feels for you), and should the moment(s) call for it, persevering, and, especially when things feels hard, so much compassion for what you find yourself and those who cross paths with you, navigating. Take loving care--as best as you are able. Cheering. You. On.


Friday, October 8, 2021

Communication

I feel like, if you love someone, you can be honest in your anger and frustration and communicate this without setting out to hurt or punish them with your words, your actions, your energy (i.e., punishing via aggression or passive aggressiveness, or any other love withholding habits). Yes, I know (I know), that this (like many things worth one’s energy) takes work and practice. But I wanted to mention it. I wanted to give voice to it because I don’t think many people consciously realize/ consciously consider that this approach is an option. So, I post in hopes of helping to change that/ helping to plant/water that seed.  

Thursday, October 7, 2021

Mental Snapshots in Target Today

Two of my favorite mental snapshots today while in Target:

#1: Walking past an aisle, I saw its lone occupant, a lady, possibly late 40ties to mid 50ties, dancing to the song being played through the store’s sound system. I didn’t recognize the song—but it felt like something from another era. And while her back was mostly to me as she swayed to the beat, gently moving her shoulders and arms, I did catch a glimpse of a smile coupled with a soft expression.

I don’t know if she would have continued dancing if we’d made eye contact. In that moment, she gave off the energy of someone comfortable in her skin, so, I like to think that she would, but I could also see her not dancing if someone else had already been in the aisle. Truth is, I’ll never know.

What I do know is I loved that she was dancing and that I got to see her doing so. The only other people I’ve ever truly seen dancing to music being played in stores are the little kids (3, 4, 5, 6-year-olds). And, as was the case with this lady in Target, I’ve often watched them and thought, “I love how present and committed to this moment you are. I love that you hear the music and you feel like dancing and you’re doing it. And I love how you've made me a little present, too.”


#2: Sometime later, making my way through another part of the store, I watched a smiling, energetic, little brown-skinned girl, maybe 3 or 4 years old, swinging a plastic orange Halloween pumpkin pail by its handle, run/ walk towards an aisle, and stop at a particular section. Her female guardian, who had been following behind, also stopped, parked their shopping cart off to the side of the aisle’s entrance, then watched the little girl with a smile of her own and an expression that spoke to me of love.

 

Friday, October 1, 2021

Cheering. You. On. With love, love, love.

To everyone navigating some tough emotional waters (whether or not you are consciously aware of the why of it underneath).

Cheering. You. On. With love, love, love xx




 

Thursday, September 30, 2021

If You Love, Say It, Tell Them

Scrolling through my FB newsfeed, I saw this posted on a friend's page.  She included some beautiful, personalized words and both her sentiments and the pic post itself, made my heart smile.  So, posting with a h/t to Terrie, as well as to TDL Counseling, who might be the originator (as my internet sleuthing shows a version of this posted by Ty David Lerman back in July.  On his, the last sentence reads, "Make it weird...until it's not."  I love that, too).

And while it states telling one's friends, I'd like to humbly expand it to tell everyone that you love that you love them.  Let them know 🙂

Sending love💗 Cheering. You. On 💗


Friday, September 24, 2021

Morning Cuppa Musings

This is the message from my cup of tea (well, the teabag😁) When I read it, I smiled and said, “Yes.” But then I felt like adding, “May I co-create peace, tranquility and harmony with all I encounter in my day.” 🤞🏾😊 And I’ll try. And, sometimes, it might not unfold as such in my interactions out in the world— heck, or even with my interactions within. But, again, I’ll try. And work to keep gently moving towards it.

All the best with your inner and outer travels, and with inviting compassion along on the journey. Cheering. You. On.❤️



Wednesday, September 22, 2021

A New Practice

I had a moment early this morning, where I could sense myself about to board the express bus to mental (and possibly emotional, because, in my experience, they feed off each other) chaos.  I caught myself in time to decide I really needed to breathe.  So, I tried this practice I’d heard of in a recent audiobook (full disclosure, I’m going to need to listen to that section of the audiobook again and honestly, likely the whole thing.  With reading, I’m moving at my own space, with audiobooks, sometimes things go by too quickly).  

The practice involves breathing in and mentally focusing on different parts of the body, starting from the top and working one’s way down.  Again, I’m thinking I didn’t do it exactly as it was mentioned in the practice (hence planning on re-listening).  But my approach worked for me.  

What I did was, on the in breath, I focused on my brain/pictured where it was in my body, and on my out breath, I silently said, “I love you, brain.”  Then, I did the same process continuing to my eyes, nose, teeth, gums, tongue, mouth, all the way down to my feet.  On the way there, I connected to the parts of my inner landscape, committing to the breathing in and out pattern, ending with the silent thought accompanying the out breath.  By the time I was finished, I felt calmer, more present and in my body.  From this place, I was able to make a clearer decision on how I wanted to proceed.  

I’m going to commit to this, at the very least, as a morning practice before getting out of bed.  I also realize I’d like to spend some time looking at some anatomy of the body pics or get a poster as I’m not 100% certain on visualizing where certain organs on the inside are actually located😅 (Then this got me wondering if there were any beginner anatomy of the body puzzles including an inside view that would be ideal for kids, that also included a few words on what its function is? Again, for children-- as young as age 6, for example.  I'd like to find one for my nieces and nephews.)  

Sharing the practice in case it’s helpful.

PS-- the audiobook practice was also a way to take time to acknowledge and appreciate one's body and all the work different parts are always doing that we take for granted until something becomes unbalanced.

 

Monday, September 20, 2021

Hurdles

I know I’ve often looked at hurdles as an issue to overcome.  That energetic perception of it being an “issue” colors my approach (akin to “Geez. Hurdle, you shouldn’t be here.”).  I’m working on catching myself and leaning more into, “Okay, Hurdle.  While I’m not exactly elated that you’re here, I'm going to try focusing more on what can I do to work through this?”  And keep returning to this self-talk whenever I find I’ve gone back to activating the energy of, “Geez…” And, maybe, the more I put this into practice, the sooner I’ll be more likely to view the hurdles more from the perspective of, “Ok, Hurdle, I see you.  Bring it!” Maybe.  :)  

Monday, September 13, 2021

PRESENCE AND CARE ON A BUS, SEEN IN BROOKLYN

As the bus made its way to the stop, I watched the guardian and the little girl stand up.  Holding the girl’s right hand, the guardian, who had been sitting in the aisle seat, now stepped out and back, resulting in her charge being braced against her front, both of them facing towards the exit. 

 

As guardian and child stood in place, the bus jerked along, making the journey to the stop, quite rocky. But together, they stood firmly in this tableau until the bus came to a complete stop and opened its doors.


With the guardian wearing what felt like the little one’s school back pack, the girl, possibly age 5 or 6, still in the lead and still holding hands with her guardian, squeezed past the new passenger, and exited the bus.

I found myself thinking back to how the guardian had them standing and waiting by their seats, making sure they only moved when everything was in place for a smoother exit. At first glance it might seem like such a small thing but I appreciated how present she was—it felt like a decision born out of being present and born out of care. I also like to think that, subconsciously, she was teaching the young girl to practice, whenever possible, being comfortable with slowing down, with stillness, and with being secure in her balance before making a move.

This was the second time I’d noticed the pair during the bus ride and the second time I’d contemplated the idea of presence and care with them in mind. The first time was back when I’d boarded the bus and I saw the guardian smile down at the girl from behind her mask. She was turned towards the young one, looking down, her eyes full of warmth behind her glasses, giving her undivided attention. In turn, the little girl was looking up, holding her gaze and smiling back. I took the mental snapshot capturing, to my mind, a moment of presence and care in which a little girl knew that she was loved.

Monday, August 30, 2021

A Little Boy and His Guardian, Seen at a Laundromat in Brooklyn

A small, brown skinned boy, maybe age 6, with bright eyes and a soft looking, curly fro, held hands with his guardian as they entered the laundromat.


Above their masks, they had the same shape to their dark brown eyes and the way they interacted made me think of strong, comforting mothers and initially shy, but gently spirited, inquisitive sons.

As she loaded up the washing, he sat on a stool next to her, playing with the door of the machine, alternating between watching her and glancing around the long expanse of room.

When she poured in the liquid detergent, he stretched up to see; his shoes on the tiny ledge jutting out from the platform supporting the row of washers. When she visited the change machine, he turned around on the stool. Wherever she went, without fail, his eyes followed.

When she finished loading up the machine, they had to walk past me to access the tiny backyard of the laundromat.

The temperature was muggy inside as well as out, but Mother Nature was providing a little relief through the caress of a warm breeze.

“Good morning”, the guardian said, making eye contact as she passed. “Good morning”, I responded in kind. Then, looking at the young boy, I said, “Hello!” “Hello!” came his reply; bright in tone to match the sweet smile I could feel him gifting me behind his mask.

Moments later, the guardian came back in, picked up the stool and exited again.

Through the window, I saw her sitting on a section of the yard’s rock ledge boundary. He was back on the stool, his attention now on something on her phone. They were the only ones in the yard, and over time, I heard him laugh, refer to her as, “Mom”, and even sing a tune whose lyrics were too low for me to make out.

But as relaxed as he seemed out there, every time his mom came back into the Laundromat, he would get up from the stool, stand near the entryway and lean a little (or a lot) to keep her in his line of sight.

And each time she returned to him, he grew more sweetly animated; confident and comfortable in the spotlight of her presence.

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

A Smile and a Wave, Seen from a Bus in Brooklyn

The bus was rather full by the time I staked my claim on a poll; several other passengers yet to board behind me.

 
As I stood, waiting for the bus to resume its journey, outside, making their way up the sidewalk, I saw a young one seated in a carriage pushed by her guardian. Seconds after noticing the little one, I watched her eyes glance to her left and dip down towards the ground. Then, she smiled and as she looked back up towards the direction the carriage was headed in, she gave a solitary wave of her left hand; the fingers tilted to the right, then led by her pinkie in a slow unfolding fan-like gesture from right to left.


Intrigued, I found myself wondering if she had been recollecting something or was, perhaps, caught up in a daydream or engaged in some inner play; the way some young ones can sometimes be.

Then seconds later, I saw a pigeon. A pigeon who would have been in her line of sight when she had initially glanced down. And in that moment, while the child and guardian continued on, I had a download of certainty that the smile and wave that followed in the wake of the little girl’s glance, had been for this particular pigeon.

And that realization made me smile.

Thursday, August 19, 2021

Honor the Wholeness of You

The parts of you that you, or others, make wrong for speaking up, is in need of your compassion. 

 

You have every right to speak up for yourself, every right to advocate for fairness, wellness, kindness, wholeness, respect.  By the way, I don’t agree with the opinion that respect must be earned.  I think respect should be a given right from the start and then, from there, one’s continued actions and words determine how things unfold.  

 

But back to speaking up and not joining the detrimental chorus that tempts you into shrinking yourself, entertaining thoughts of, “That’s what you get for speaking up.  That’s what you get for advocating for yourself.”

 

You have every right to speak up and if, in the aftermath, you are tempted to shrink, I implore you instead to address the part of yourself that spoke up in the first place.  To the part that communicated either through feelings or thoughts, say, “Thank you for speaking up.  Thank you for letting me know something didn’t feel right and needed addressing.  When we were kids, sometimes or many times, we couldn’t give voice to that which didn’t sit well with us.  Or if we did, sometimes or many times, someone we trusted, sometimes an adult, was unable to honor our feelings.  But I’m the adult now, so keep communicating with me and I promise to listen, and to keep speaking up for us.”

 

Even if you’re tempted to shrink because you made an error in judgement. Thank the part of you that was trying to do good by you.  Acknowledge that underlying the words or actions you took was a desire to take loving care of yourself, acknowledge that you now realize that you’ve made an error in judgement or an error in your execution and, from this place of awareness and honesty, move forward, alongside any necessary external amends, with conscious self-talk & actions steadily nurturing self-compassion.

 

Ultimately, all this is to say, honor the wholeness of you.  Feeding feelings of shame from yourself or others doesn't support the wholeness of you.  And even if you made a mistake, when you realize this, the wholeness of you benefits from your acknowledgment and your gentle compassion with yourself as you now take slow, deliberate steps towards living into a more conscious you.

 

Cheering. You. On.