Originally posted on FB on Aug. 2nd♥
I experienced something this week where the Universe allowed me to do something I wanted to do, but in a bit of an unexpected way.
I had an interaction at work with someone I will name Person A. I am one of Person A's Supervisors and Person A had made a mistake. When I brought this to Person A's attention, Person A got defensive. I was surprised. I had expected an apology. I recognized that not only was I surprised at the response, but also that Person A reflected back to me a default habit from the past that I am actively working on.
Taking the exchange home with me, and doing some inner work, I soon realized that the interaction with Person A also helped me to unearth some memories connected to another feeling that came up--memories I had long forgotten about, memories from when I was younger that I didn't realize affected me and my perception of self. Memories that needed healing. Gratefully, I was able to heal and forgive the first memory that came up. I am working on forgiving the other two.
Now, back to Person A. When our interaction first occurred, I mentioned that I was surprised at the defensiveness. Internally, I wanted to articulate/teach that there was an error made and being defensive was deciding not to own up to or acknowledge the role Person A played. But even I knew at that point it would only be received with more defensiveness.
Well, the Universe stepped in and ended up providing two ways.
Two days later, there was a situation where I ended up having to apologize to Person A and a few other people because of an error I had made. When it happened, the thought briefly crossed my mind to ignore it. And then I realized what I was planning on doing was another form of being defensive--not admitting that I had made a mistake. I also saw the importance of putting out into Universe/ giving what I felt I would have wanted in the upshot of my first interaction with Person A. So I apologized.
Then the next day, I ended up having to apologize to someone about another error that I made and guess who had the opportunity to bear witness to it? Person A.
I call this synchronicity.
I'm grateful for the realization that these two opportunities were given to me to help teach by example. It was a reminder to me to heal the reacting-defensively-default-habit AND it provided an example of what I wanted to communicate to Person A when Person A had reacted defensively earlier in the week. It had been such a clear desire on my part, but the only way to do it at the time did not feel "right" to me. I didn't consciously realize the Universe had been listening.
Now, truth be told, I recognize that it doesn't really matter whether Person A got something out of the two latter apologies as it's not my place to make certain that this was the case. What was important was what I got out of the whole thing. I got the chance to teach by example. I got to say via action what I wanted to communicate in our earlier interaction.
So thank you, dear Universe for the opportunity and for the clarity.
Still working on forgiveness. But I trust that it will come.