I’ve been working on observing myself when I do something that I’ve labeled a “mistake.”
I’ve been working on looking at the story I tell myself about what occurred.
I’ve been committing to the learning woven into the experience of said “mistake”, and then being open to a more loving/ healthy perception/ response.
Take for example, the other day, I purchased two belts. They were the specific type I was looking for and I was so happy to find them, I just bought them. When I got home, I realized they didn’t fit. I began down the path of, “Why didn’t you double check at the store? Now, you have to return them. You could have avoided all of this by just taking the time to double check” and on and on.
But, I realized what I was doing and then a memory popped up of being in the company of someone, years ago, who was caught in a cycle of berating herself and her actions for a perceived “mistake.” At the time, I remember trying to reassure her but then letting it go because, in that moment, it appeared she could only continue repeating the story she was telling herself. Recalling this and realizing where I was headed with the belts situation, I made a decision to change course: “Okay, I bought the wrong sizes. Well, at least I can go back to the store to make an exchange or get a refund. Yes, I threw the receipt in the trash, but I didn’t tear it up. True, I did cut that top plastic part off, but I still have the pieces. And when I go to the store tomorrow, I can also get the other stuff I wasn’t able to get today because my hands were too full” and on and on.
Now, it’s important for me to say I’m making peace with however long it may take me to begin engaging in a more loving/ healthy perception/ response to a “mistake” I feel I’ve made— however long it may take me before I notice the unhealthy story I’m feeding and begin my mental shifting. I’m also making peace with the fact that I’ll likely find myself rehashing the old story again. I’m making peace with this because, no matter how many times it takes, I’m still committed to reconnecting with a healthier, more loving response/ perception.
It’s important to me.