The other day, I read the following passage and thought of a conversation I had with a friend some months ago. She had mentioned how she wanted her now husband to be more of a certain way. One example she gave was how she didn’t need him to buy her things to show his love, but preferred he be more like her in sharing feelings. Now, I know the husband and he does share his feelings. It’s just he’s doing it the way he knows how which is different from how she’d like him to. I mentioned to her that she might be trying to change him into something that he’s not. For the record, they are both lovely, lovely people and I’m glad that they’re a part of my life grin emoticon I plan on sending her the following and I share it in case it is of service to someone else:
“The objects of feminine and masculine sentimentality are often widely different. To expect a man to assume what might be an unnatural form of sentiment to prove devotion is an unreasonable experiment with a high probability of failure. Why not accept his instinctual gestures of affection in whatever manner they are manifested? They likely mean more to him and reveal more about his character.”—SD, P&P