Wishes from Me to You

Hello there, folks 👋🏾 I wanted to take a moment to wish you a merry and a happy, a festive and a bright 😊 

I also wanted to wish you a healing kind of peace with whatever unfolds or is currently unfolding. The kind of peace that focuses on what you can do or say to feed a nourishing experience of peace in your heart and, from there, extend it out to others💚

And I wanted to wish you more awareness of your magic. Your unique magic that allows your heart to be touched in the ways that it's touched, and inspires you to endeavor to touch others, too. Whether it is recognized, reciprocated, or understood by said others. Your unique magic that is you doing you, you being you✨

Finally, I wanted to wish you the strength, the determination, and the desire to gently, bravely, genuinely, face and continue working through the hard. Whatever the hard. Even if it feels like you’re consistently medaling in the Very Hard Olympics. May you get through to the other side of it, and once again have the real-life proof that you can navigate hard things 🤍

Whatever the holidays bring up for you, I’m cheering for you. I’m sending love to you and your adventures (even if they turn out to be shenanigans). I’m wishing the Brightest of Blessings on the remaining days of your 2023. And hoping 2024 is filled with more experiences of love, joy, healing, growth, and grace🩷

Take gentle and gorgeous care, folks. However that looks and feels like for you💚 Cheering. You. On 🌱

Coming Out of the Storm

Oof. Sometimes, especially with certain people in our lives, it can be waaay too easy to get pulled into their storm. Next thing you know, you've become ungrounded; you find yourself swimming through emotional chao, and energetic lethargy isn't that far behind. When you realize this has happened, breathe, ground yourself, call your energy back, and then pat yourself on the back. Yes, pat yourself on the back; sure, you got caught up, but eventually, you caught on to the fact that you were caught up, and then decided to gently move towards untangling yourself. That's no small feat, people; it deserves a mini-parade (of at least a single occupancy float ;) )

Good luck with the rest of your day, folks.

Cheering. You. On

 

Thank you

Thank you for all the loving thoughts & actions, kindness, caring, compassion, inner work, and the extending of grace and forgiveness (to yourself and to others), that you put out into the world. Especially when it can feel so hard for any number of reasons. Thank you for all you’ve done/ all you do to help. Especially all the help you give that others aren’t aware of and might never be aware of. Thank you.

Re: First Ever Received Angry Face Emoji Reaction (on a creative offering)

Sometimes, someone you know or someone you don’t know will say something or do something, and the next thing you know, you find yourself waking up on the express bus to self-abandonment.

 

When that happens, pull the signal for the next stop. Gently get up. Pat your pockets. Carefully look around to make sure you’ve got your belongings (and that you haven’t picked up anyone else's, mistaking it for yours in error). Inhale. Exhale. Then, consciously exit the bus.

 

Fyi, you might find yourself on that same bus many more times during the rest of that day or in the days, weeks, or months to come.

 

It’s okay.

 

It’s the abandonment of you by you that you really have to keep an eye out for.

 

So, when you realize it, signal for the next stop. Consciously get your affairs in order. Inhale. Exhale. And gently keep exiting with yourself in tow. 

I saw the Sign 😉

The last few days, I’d been seesawing on what to do about an action I had taken. I could let it be, or I could “rescind” it. Today, while scrolling through fb, I saw a post that, upon reading it, centered me on how to proceed. Reading it, I felt a bit like Alice taking the Drink Me potion to embody the “right” size for what needed to happen next. And now I see what I hadn’t seen before. Well, actually, I had seen it. But it had been on the periphery. And had been blurry 🙃 All this is to say, I’m grateful to have seen the post. When I’m puzzling through something, I’m grateful to see or connect to guidance or signs that feel to me like they contribute to a healthy, healing, and nourishing path forward. As for what I’m going to do? To “rescind” would feel like shrinking. 

RE: Small Kindnesses

The other day, I went to the dentist. At one point, water splashed onto my mouth and chin. She paused and gently cleaned it up. At the end of the visit, she carefully wiped my face of the remnants of splatter that had settled in from the cleaning process. I felt the caring in these acts, and I thanked her both times. I told her that, years ago, after a dental visit to another practice, after checking out at the front desk, I stopped to use the restroom. Inside, I went to rinse my hands and glanced up at the mirror above the sink. White, dried-up patches of dental debris marked my mouth and chin. Had I not gone to the restroom, I would have been traveling around with that until I got home. So, I appreciated the kindness and care from my recent dentist. And I wanted her to know.

I really hope there are experiences of kindness in your today, shared from your heart with others and from others to you 💜

Laurie Anderson Story on the All There Is Podcast

On the Anderson Cooper Podcast, All There Is, in an episode released on Oct. 19, 2022, he speaks with artist and composer Laurie Anderson. In the last 5 or 6 minutes of the episode, he asks her to tell a story. It’s about an incident that occurred with her twin brothers when she was around 8 and they were about 2 years old. As the second of eight children, Laurie viewed taking care of the younger kids as part of her job, and she really loved taking care of the twins. On this particular winter’s day, she took them out in their stroller to see a movie near their home. They lived in an area and were growing up at a time when this didn’t feel out of the ordinary. They also lived near a lake that had frozen over due to the weather. On their way back home, with thoughts of pointing out something spectacular, Laurie took them over the frozen lake. And at some point in their travels, a section of the ice cracked, and the stroller carrying the twins sank into the water.


Laurie said her first thought was, "Mom’s going to kill me." With that, she took off her jacket and dove into the water. Finding one of the twins, she pulled him out and laid him on a section of ice. Jumping back into the water to find the other twin, she panicked when she couldn’t. This twin was still strapped to the stroller, which had sunk farther down than she had expected. Finally locating the stroller, she released him and got him back up above the ice. She recalled that this brother was screaming, and the other was blue. They lived about three blocks away, and she was able to get them home.


Once there, fully expecting screaming, punishment, upset, etc., she told her mom what happened. "And instead, she said, ‘You know, I didn't know you were such a great swimmer and such a good diver.’ And I… kind of froze. Because of all the things that she could have said. It literally changed my life. To be thanked for something like that. I mean, I did do my best, and she saw that actually." Laurie goes on to say that being able to see herself and be seen as a hero in the story really affected her. "I thought I─I can do things. Somebody just recognized that I can do things. And this person gave me this benefit of the doubt, you know, and it gave me so much in that one sentence. Much later, I really thought if I could ever do that for someone, I will."


When Laurie shared her mother's reaction, I remember going very still. She had been able to choose that particular response at that particular moment. I found myself wondering what it would take for me to be able to respond in the same way.


In the space of a few seconds or minutes, I’d have to remember that Laurie was a child—8 years old. I’d have to remember that she didn’t set out to hurt her little brothers. I’d have to remember seeing her prior interactions with the twins and witnessing the love in those interactions. I’d have to imagine how freaked out I would be to see the ice crack and a stroller with two kids in it disappear into the frigid waters beneath. I’d have to remember that an 8-year-old saw this and acted quickly to try to save her siblings. I’d have to remember that she succeeded. I'd have to remember that everyone made it home.


Whatever made it possible for her mother to connect to and make that response, it was/it is, to my mind, the most amazing, conscious, and loving response.


Love took the lead here where fear could have easily dominated.

  

Cheering. You. On. Pep Talk

 It’s never too late to take steps towards resetting. Never.

Cry if you have to (ain’t no shame, that tension needs an outlet for release), throw rolled up socks (but not at any living thing though, maybe at a wall or your bed), watch vids that contribute to the uplifting of your spirit (I’ve been watching a lot of The Voice and The Voice kids compilations from different countries, people's talents leave me in awe), re-read something that sparks your joy, turn up some music and dance, meditate (when I'm having problems with connecting to silence, I use mantras), stand outside in the sun for as long as you are able and just breathe, make a paper airplane or a paper boat and decorate it (you can relearn how to do it by searching online ), journal (or with the intention of getting it out of your system, pour all that tension onto a sheet or several sheets of paper and then *safely* burn it. Seriously, I can’t over emphasize the word, safely. I’m still always surprised at how quickly those flames grow and spread ).

And then, take steps to cheer yourself on. And mean it. Stuff gets hard.

Acknowledge the hard. Feel what you feel. And as soon as you’re able, take steps to gently move back to an inner equilibrium.

You’re worth all of your loving efforts. All. Of. It. Cheering. You. On.

Kindness in Action in the Radiology Waiting Room

The other day, I accompanied my loved one to another medical appointment. As I sat in the waiting room of the radiology building, I had a front row seat to the work that one of the four medical receptionists was doing and the positive ripples it made.

So, I made a plan and a silent bargain with the folks upstairs: I would write a note. If I finished in time, I would deliver it before my loved one and I exited the building. It would include the following:

Right from the start, when you sensed new visitors entering the building, you’d look over your shoulder and welcome them in. You engaged with a smile on your face, a kind tone, and an attentive demeanor. If you were attending to something else, you’d ask them to wait. If you were available to assist, you’d call them over to your station.

Your kind tone and attentive energy continued in the interaction with the visitors in front of your station. At one point, a woman echoed this back to you, using your words. "You’re welcome," she delivered in song. Surprised, you laughed, and she returned to her seat, looking pleased at the exchange.

There was the gentleman you assisted with check-in. Going over his paperwork, you asked if he had been drinking the water required for his imaging exam. Somewhat tersely, somewhat annoyed, he replied, "I didn't know about that." Reassuringly, you told him not to worry. Exiting the room, you returned with a glass of water. Handing it over, you asked him to come back when it was finished, promising to provide a refill. He still looked less than thrilled, but there was a slight change in his energy. I attribute that to the care and understanding you showed him.

Then there was the woman with the pretty hijab-like scarf. She had no appointment but hoped to be seen about an ultrasound for her leg. You told her that, due to an earlier incident, all appointments scheduled for the day were delayed by about 45 minutes to an hour. But you took her paperwork, went over it, and said you’d check with someone in the back. You returned and confirmed that things were still running behind. Then you provided the names of three other imaging sites, encouraging her to call to check their availability. One of your co-workers had been listening in and wrote the contact information on a piece of paper. The lady left. Only to return about 30 minutes later. None of the other sites would be able to see her that day. Once again, you took her paperwork, this time calling her doctor’s office. But her physician was out of the office. So, you advised the woman to call the scheduling branch and request the next available appointment at the most convenient location. The smile on her face, coupled with the gratitude in her goodbye, spoke volumes.

Finally, I have to quote the older gentleman with the cane, who, after his visit, moved purposefully towards your station to say, "Thank you very much. You were very helpful and a very nice person." You smiled. He smiled. I smiled.

And he spoke the truth. You were very helpful and very nice.

*******

My loved one finished their appointment before I could finish the letter. Disappointed, I accepted the fact that I wouldn’t be able to give it to her. Before leaving the building, I had to use the restroom. It was located through a door leading to another part of the building. As I was finishing up, I heard the medical receptionist speaking to someone in the hallway. Quickly, I washed my hands, opened the door, and stopped her entry into another room. I told her everything. I told her about the unfinished letter. I told her about the silent bargain I had made. I told her how awesome she had been to so many people and how awesome it was to have observed her interactions. She thanked me, sharing that she understood how tough the process could get and wanted to help things go as smoothly as possible.

I’m so glad I was given the chance to let her know. It was really important to me. And, I like to think, the folks upstairs felt like she needed to know, too.

The Warmth of Kindness

The other day, I accompanied my loved one to their lab appointment. The technician, slightly taller than my 5’8, possibly of West Indian or South Asian descent, welcomed us in, her presence and attention warm and bright.

As she did the exam, she engaged us in easy conversation, complimenting my loved one on their dolphin necklace. This led to our finding out she had recently come back from vacation, where she saw dolphins.

Oh, that must have been amazing!" I imagined her at one of those places where one gets to swim with dolphins.

"Well, at first it wasn’t," She laughed. "We were in the water, and suddenly, some ways away, I saw massive fish. I immediately got into How Do I Get Everyone Out of the Water Mode?"

"Oh, you thought they might be dangerous."

She nodded. "It took me a second, but then I realized, oh, they’re dolphins!" Her laughter rang bright; joy and relief woven into the sound and onto her features.

I made some remarks about the Jaws theme song, and this time her laugh spilled over into Girl, Yes! territory.

Towards the end of the exam, she asked my loved one a question. Instead of the yes or no reply I had expected, my loved one took us on the scenic route. And through it all, the medical technician modeled presence and attentiveness. Her care touched my heart, reminding me to keep working on patience, presence of mind, and compassion.

At the end of the visit, I told her how wonderful it was to have spent this time with her and how grateful I was for the energy she radiated. Later, my loved one made a remark about really feeling attended to, and all over again, I was grateful to have witnessed it.

Paying Attention When Something Bothers Me

The working title for this current chapter of my life is "Zeroing in on the Healthiest Way for Me to Speak Up or Move Forward and Then Doing It."

I’m learning to pay attention when something bothers me so that I can look at it a bit more carefully and suss out why it’s bothering me. Once I know this, I can begin figuring out what I can do or how I can work through it, or begin to work through it, so I’m not being held hostage by my unaddressed feelings.

I know that I won't always have the necessary words in the moment of the unfolding action or directly after the incident.  But when I do give myself and the feeling the space that I need to identify and process things, then I can feel out what would have been the healthiest way for me to speak up (and if it's possible or necessary, follow through and speak up).

Holding space to figure it out for myself beats not addressing it at all.  Because if I don’t address it and it keeps showing up, piling up, or bothering me, then that’s a lot of energetic gunk that I’m carting around and choosing not to deal with. And not dealing with it, on some level, is likely to result in an ever-widening gulf between myself and the others involved.  

Thoughts on Over Responsibility

Somewhere along on my sojourn here on Earth, I developed a sometimes habit of taking over responsibility for other people’s behaviors. I’m talking family members or friends. When I made this conscious realization, I started to do the work of releasing it. And so, the other day, when I caught myself mentally prepping to apologize for someone else’s behavior, I stopped. Then, gave myself a silent, but gentle talking to 😉

It’s actually happened before with this person, where I’ve found myself going back to those assembled, first apologizing and then following up with a thank you for their help or their time.

But during this recent download-of-clarity, apart from practicing the unlearning of this unhealthy habit, I realized I could just proffer an appropriate in-the-moment response from me. Just from me. Instead of carrying an over responsibility of guilt or embarrassment for something I didn’t say or do.

And in situations where, for whatever reason, I feel like I should apologize on behalf of another, I’m working on remembering that there’s a way to consciously approach it without it feeling like I was the originator of whatever had transpired.

It’s carting it along like it’s mine part that I’m healing/ releasing. Because it clearly isn’t mine and treating it as such can add up, become unhealthy, and affect how I may unconsciously be relating in other areas of my life. 

Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries, healthy relating is something I’ve grown more and more interested in.  I’ve actually begun a practice of literally calling my life force energy back throughout the course of a day or at the end of a day or when I find myself mentally and or emotionally revisiting something or someone or an interaction that feels draining to my energy.  “I call my life force energy back from ____.  And I send _____ ‘s life force energy back in all ways healing and healthy for all concerned. I ask that everyone’s life force energy be cleansed and cleared in all ways aligned with the greatest and highest good for all concerned.”  I didn’t come up with it 😁. But it’s cobbled together from a mix of ideas I’ve come across through the years.  And I very often feel clearer-- more grounded in me-- after I do it.

Signs: Of Updates and Next Steps

I believe in signs.  Most of you reading this already know how I feel about repeating numbers and mirror numbers 😉 Not a day goes by that I don’t see them.  And they always help me to feel grounded and have, on many occasions, brought me needed comfort.  But the signs I receive aren’t limited to numbers.  Life experience has shaped me into being wired this way.  And I love it 😊

In January, after realizing it had been several months since I’d received an automatic notification about available updates, I checked my laptop and discovered there were updates pending.  So, I clicked download and install.  The process began.  Then ended; the mission, abandoned.  I tried several more times but it wouldn’t complete the request.  Mentioning this to a loved one—someone much more knowledgeable than myself when it comes to these things, loved one proved to be unhelpful; “maybe you need to get a new laptop.”  Adding the suggestion to my mental list of things future me would look into when there were funds for it, in-the-moment-me did that thing where one proceeds to keep doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a different outcome, only to end up with multiple experiences of the exact same initial outcome.  After a few days of experimenting with this approach, I gave up.  I decided, since I’m still able to use the laptop, let’s keep using it until I get a clear, unmistakable sign I need to figure out another plan. 

Today, 15 days into the new month of February, I was on my laptop when I noticed the automatic notification that updates were available.  Dear Reader, the last time I’d received that notification was circa last spring.  I felt hope stretch its wings a little in my chest.  Maybe this time??? 🤞  I clicked on the little orange ball in front of the monitor icon; restart now, please!  The process began.  A message flashed up on the screen stating this might take some time.  And it did.  But I didn’t mind; hope’s wings were now fully outstretched, awaiting the signal to take flight and soar!  When the laptop finally restarted, I manually checked for updates.  I found several pending—in addition to the two unsuccessful ones from January.  Selecting download and install, I then sat back, my eyes tracking the various countdowns.  When all installations registered at 100%, I restarted the laptop.  When it came on, I checked again to see if there were any pending updates.  None!  In my mind, I threw a fist up in the air (like in the last frame of The Breakfast Club), and triumph, formerly known as hope, was now perched on my other shoulder, wings outstretched, feathers ablaze and backlit from an unidentifiable light source.  I felt great!

Now, to circle back to the beginning of this where I mentioned signs.  I had been trying to shift the laptop updates situation.  I did everything that I felt I could do at the time, but couldn’t shift it towards the outcome I had wanted.  So, I made the decision to cross the next proverbial bridge when I came face to face with it.  And it turns out that bridge wasn’t something to be concerned about 😅 I crossed it without any issues and it felt wonderful (still does—I’m still happy 😊).  There have been other areas in my life where I’ve been trying to make things happen/ figure out next steps.  Apart from taking action—literal and energetic, and praying, I’ve also pulled cards that have counseled being patient, the importance of divine timing, and trust.  When the updates saga unexpectedly concluded earlier today, I found myself thinking about my card messages and the other areas in my life where I’m experiencing somewhat of a holding pattern.  So, I’m taking this as an additional sign to be patient, to trust in divine timing, to trust in my journey and stay open to continuing to play my part in the co-creation when the opportunities arise.  

Facts. Cheering. You. On.

 

Cheering. You. On. Intention vs Reception

You did nothing wrong in sharing something that you thought/ hoped would be helpful. And they did nothing wrong by not receiving/ responding in the way that you had hoped. Learn what you can from what happened. And if you’re tempted to beat yourself up for trying in the first place or tempted to “never do that again,” remember that your initial intention was born from a desire to help. Gently keep returning to that even as you figure out how you want to move forward. Cheering. You. On

 

Dear ______

Sometimes, it’s really hard to be in the presence of people who love you in the only way that they know, but don’t actually know how to love you in a way that is healthy or helpful for you.  

It's not malicious--this not knowing how-- it's just how they have navigated life and haven't had a big enough internal or external changes that would inspire them to review past approaches inorder to explore new options.

At some point through the course of a day, I find her swimming in an ocean of pain, buffeted by waves of anger, sadness, hurt and regret.  She says life didn’t work out the way she had hoped.  And now, especially now, but for the longest time, that my life is far from what she had hoped for me.  

To put it mildly, she’s disappointed.  She’s disappointed and gives voice to it in a way that can be spirit crushing. 

 And still, I love her.  She's strong.  Driven to do her best or whatever she feels is best in the given circumstances.  I see her inner child and I feel so very much for her.  She's navigating so much hurt and is handling it in the only way that she knows how.  The only way she's practiced all these years.  By holding on to it and believing in an unbendable type of justice.  

At this point in my life, I’m better able to weather her storms and understand some of their origins.  But sometimes, even with my trusty umbrella—the one that’s supposed to be weatherproof – I get soaked, and my hand hurts from gripping the handle so hard against the pummeling.

How do I move forward? I want to move forward.  I ask for help.  I ask for a sign, a crystal-clear next step forward sign.  Direction.  Miracles. 

Like it says on one of the cards, “Show me my next best step to take" and whenever necessary, "change me into one who can take it.”

Thank you.

Breathe and Feel. Cheering. You. On.

A human being is not a machine. We're supposed to breathe and feel. So, please, take your time whenever you are able. When you catch yourself rushing through some activity, stop and check in to see if you actually have to rush in that moment or whether it's an unhelpful default setting courtesy of past experiences. Whenever it's the latter, breathe, slow down, help your body by being present in your body. And as for your feelings? They're coming up for a reason. They're asking for your awarness and the tough ones-- all the tough ones-- are asking you for your self compassion and grace as you figure out how to move forward even whilst honoring how you're feeling in the seemingly oppressive thick hot of it.

All the best with everything in your inner and outer world, today. Sending love. Cheering. You. On.

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