Patterns, Cheering. You. On.

Most times, my heart beats a conga every time I’m about to do something new, labeling the “new” as, on some level, “scary.”

Of course, depending on the exact nature of the something new, there’s always another way of interpreting the experience— a more helpful/ supportive/ expansive way— so that when my heart is doing the “Conga”, my body and my mind views it with more of a “Get on your feet,” or “Party Time” kind of enthusiasm (I’ve been revisiting some Gloria Estefan songs recently🙃 😉).

But I have to accept that first feeling of "scary", notice it, honor it, before I can gently talk myself into opening up space for the latter one of enthusiasm. Working on it 😊

All the best to you today with noticing current patterns. All the best with acknowledging how they are shaping your journey. And all the best with gently choosing that which supports the life you consciously want to live. Cheering. You. On.

 

Poem: Gifts of a Morning

I wake to the warm caress of sunshine against the curtain of my eyelids, 

my body, the temperature of contentment.

 

Conspiratorially, my mind whispers, “You’re up before the alarm; reset it for later. Stay in bed longer.”

Amused, I whisper back, “You said that two alarms ago.”

 

Opening my eyes, the sliver of morning peaks through the real curtains. 

I give thanks for this precious, welcomed, experience of peace.

 

Even as kinks and creaks are gently stretched I realize,

peace still abounds; two more gifts found in the experience and in the realization.

 

Overflowing with gratitude, general and specific,

from here, I start the day.

 

Knowing the Reason for Upset, Helps

Am I upset because the way someone chose to approach something is different from how I would’ve approached it?  Am I upset at someone for not being the way I want/ wish they would be? Or am I upset because their actions towards me are upsetting?  

There’s a distinction.  

The upset of Scenario A is, technically, unfair and if I was on the receiving end of it, would bring up feelings of “Sorry, but you don’t get to try to change me.” 

Scenario B’s upset stems from a behavior or action towards me that I, personally, find unacceptable (and therefore requires addressing both for myself and the others involved, so we’re all on the same page moving forward).

Recently, I was reminded of this distinction. 

Person A and I have had a strained relationship.  But I reached out to him because I sought his advice on an issue on which he’s far more knowledgeable than I am.   And true enough, his reply propelled me to take action that I don’t believe I would have considered otherwise—action that has moved me towards peace of mind.  But I was also annoyed.

Eventually, I realized this stemmed from wishing he communicated differently.  Our communication styles are very different.  And it was hard to untangle this from the strain of past unaddressed behaviors that’s been woven through our interactions over the past 7 years.  

Realizing that I was annoyed because of our differences in communication styles was/is helpful.

And now, I continue the work of paying attention.

Call Out Biased Narrative, Don’t Perpetuate it

What someone says or does shouldn’t be the measure by which others judge an entire population. Be cognizant of perpetuating the weighty yoke of conscious and unconscious bias foisted upon someone through the narrative that because they’ve said or done something, they are reflecting negatively on an entire group of people as if that group of people are a monolith.  It’s a narrative that’s been around for some time, but to agree with it is co-signing bias.  It isn’t true, so it’s imperative to stop dining on this egregious perspective and presenting it to others as palatable.  It’s one thing to call out the biased narrative and an entirely different story to perpetuate it.