Happy Holidays, and New Year Wishes

For me, 2021, felt/feels like an in-between year. Akin to being on the cusp of new beginnings, at least externally. This is to say, internally, I’ve already experienced and continue to experience new beginnings—new way of seeing things that feel healthier for me, new ways of addressing things—trying on new shoes to see what’s a good fit, letting go of that which I feel I’ve outgrown, knowing all the aforementioned will continue because, life 😉 and because I’ve set this intention-- it’s important to me.

There have been some missteps. But I learn-- am learning—and, as soon as I remember, I work on enveloping myself in compassion and grace. I am looking forward to 2022—not because I have any previews of how any of the To Be Continued chapters will turn out. I’m looking forward to 2022 because I feel the new beginnings sprouting in my inner world will, at some point, show up in ways that are nourishing and nurturing in the outer, and 2022 seems as good a time as any for that to begin 😉

As we travel these last few weeks and, soon to be, days of 2021, I want to take a moment and wish you peace and trust and hope and strength and courage and faith in yourself and your ability to navigate your journey as best as you are able, even if gravity seems to keep shifting beneath your feet. Not long ago, a friend on FB posted a quote (I believe from Doctor Who—I’m not sure, haven’t seen the episode) and the gist of it was that, “The mission is Love.” I replied to him with something along the lines that underneath it all— from the experienced hardships, the extraordinary joys and everything in between, I think it is about love (lol, nothing new there)—but I’d add, healthy, healing love, first and foremost in our relationships with ourselves and from there, in our relationships with others. I emphasize healthy and healing. Those two words, gifted to ourselves first, and then extended to others.

What's healthy? What's healing? I guess that depends on how it ultimately feels to you and in order to figure it out, it’s worth the intentional practice. I believe.

And with that, folks, I bid you, Happy Holidays 🙂 And at the end of it, wishing you all a Happy New Year. Whatever you encounter, may the choices you make be full of healthy, healing love to you from you and from there, to others. Sincerely wishing you all the best. Cheering. You. On.

Aloe Vera Gel and Vitamin E Oil Experience

Early last week, I had an incident with undiluted tea tree oil and ended up with, approximately, a dime sized burn on part of my face 😬 I went to a locally owned health food store, spoke to the owner and ended up purchasing some aloe vera gel and a small bottle of vitamin E oil. After about a week of using the aloe vera gel, aplying the gel daily and placing a fresh bandaid over it, I’m delighted to say the burn/scarring is practically non-existent! Seriously, it's like magic 😁😅 Alas, after a day or two of trying the vitamin E oil, I stopped post haste as it appears that it makes my skin itch—luckily that’s the only allergic reaction that came out of that experiment🙏🏿Online research showed that some folks do experience allergic reactions to vitamin E oil. Sharing in case it’s helpful to folks.

An Experience at Physical Therapy

I’ve been going to a Physical Therapy practice for a few months now:  I go in, receive electrical stimulation therapy, perform my home program, work out on the bicycle, and finish with a stretching session, ultrasound, and cryotherapy-- the latter three administered by a therapist.

 

It seems to be a small staff in what can quickly become, with a lot of clients, a snug space.  When I’ve been there, clients always appear to be waiting: for an available station/ bed, a machine, or a therapist. The other day, after my exercises, I, once again, found myself sitting around, waiting for a therapist.

 

PT 1 was working on someone and apologized for the wait time.  I asked him how long he thought it might take.  He replied, “Ten minutes.”  I told him I’d check upstairs for availability.

 

On the first floor, two therapists were sitting by one of the office desks stations.   PT 2 was on his cellphone, and PT 3 appeared to be resting (she seemed to have come in with an injury that day—she had been moving slowly earlier).  Addressing my question to another employee, I asked G if someone was available since PT 1 had a client downstairs.

 

G turned to PT 2, but his expression and body language indicated reluctance and exasperation.  I’m not certain, but he may have just finished with a client not too long ago.  I am certain that he felt it was PT 3’s turn to take a client.  Judging by her body language and expression, PT 3 was also reluctant, which, maybe, had something to do with her physical state.  The upshot was PT 3 would work on me.

 

As I watched G get out the cleaning supplies, walk over and begin getting a station ready, I was still replaying the exchange between her and her colleagues.  It was clear that these PTs did not want to take a client at that precise moment.  But that exchange shouldn’t have happened in front of me—especially since, on the surface, it just looked like they were sitting around.  Because it did take place in front of me, it was unprofessional and should have been acknowledged via an apology or an explanation, or both.

 

I approached G, told her I would wait for PT 1 then left. 

 

Downstairs, I sat at a station until PT 1 was available.  When he came over, he apologized again for the wait time.

   

PT 1, an older gentleman, only works at this site once a week.  PT 2 and 3, possibly in their mid to late twenties, are the primary PTs for the practice, along with the owner and two others.  I didn’t say anything to the owner.  I’ve been coming to this practice for a few months now and, based on the observations I’ve made, I didn’t feel telling the owner would help.  Even now, a day after the incident, I still stand firmly by that decision.  But I might speak to G since she bore witness to it all and let her do what she wants with the information...

 

I feel I did the best I could in those circumstances; I took ownership of what I could.  Energetically, after their exchange, it didn’t sit well with me to have PT 2 or PT 3 work on me.  Since I had the time, I would wait and work with a therapist who wanted a client.

Notes from a Podcast Episode

There’s a way to communicate your feelings to someone else without injuring the other person. If you’re not taking their feelings into consideration, then you’re not truly communicating; there is no thought towards emotional safety. How are you showing up? Are you demonstrating care for your listener? You can get your point across without setting out to intentionally hurt the other person. If you’re going hard, you’re damaging yourself and the relationship. Compassion is important— communicate what you’re feeling and how you’re feeling in a way to build the relationship —not hurt it. Communicate in a way that you can be heard and the message can be received. If you’re yelling or speaking in a tone that is overpowering or dismissive or intended to make the other person feel bad or less than, that will not build the relationship; it will hurt it.

— Notes I took while listening to The King of the Heart podcast, (KOTH) Season 2, Episode 15. Took the notes some time ago. Found them again and wanted to share. 

Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school this week. Wishing you all my heartfelt best with your inner and outer travels. Take loving care. As best as you are able. Cheering. You. On.

The B41 Bus To...

I was on the B41 bus when the lady with the thick honey blonde mane, sitting across the aisle, one seat ahead, turned to the older Black woman two seats in front of me and asked, “B41 to Kings Plaza?”

“Oh no,” replied the older woman. Her delivery, dry, but with a slight note of pity woven in.

The lady across the aisle started to ask more questions.

“Oh, I don’t speak Spanish,” the older woman interjected, this time, matter-of-factly.

The lady nodded.

“But," the woman continued, “You can get off at the next stop to catch the correct bus.”

There are two B41 buses; one goes to Bergen Beach, the other to Kings Plaza. Belatedly, a few passengers riding the Bergen Beach bus will, eventually, realize that they’re on the wrong one. Because it happens often enough, one stop before the route diverges, the bus drivers announce via the loudspeaker: “This is the B41 to Bergen Beach, not Kings Plaza. If you need Kings Plaza, you’ll need to get off at the next stop.”

Watching the lady across the aisle, I wanted to tell her to get a transfer from the bus driver before exiting. But then I thought it could be presumptuous of me to assume she wasn’t aware of that. Not to mention, I also didn’t speak Spanish, so I didn't know how that would work.

Sitting in front of me was a gentleman. While he and the older woman had boarded the bus together, I was uncertain whether they knew each other. She and I had been waiting at the bus stop, watching as a B41 bus to Bergen Beach was filling up with passengers. He had seen the bus from afar and ran over with the intent to get on.

By the time he had arrived, the bus was practically packed. As he stood, deciding whether to squeeze in, the woman told him another would be pulling up in a few seconds. Thanking her, he laughed, stating one never knew how things would go with this particular bus route.

He was correct. Five B41 buses to Kings Plaza could pass by before one to Bergen Beach showed up. Therefore, aside from wanting to get home, coupled with wanting to get out of the cold, and evening beginning to make an entrance, had the woman not shared the information about a second bus approaching, it’s likely he would have squeezed onto the first.

When we had boarded the bus, he and the woman continued speaking; I tuned out until the lady across the aisle inquired about the bus destination.

As I sat, contemplating if I could assist the lady, I saw the gentleman lean towards the woman in front of him and point something out on the screen of his iPhone. She nodded, and as the bus was pulling up to its stop, the lady across the aisle stood up. But before she could take a step, the gentleman turned his screen to her. Taking it in, she nodded, expressed her thanks, then dashed off.

Curious, I asked him what he showed her. Turning towards me, he held up the phone, and I could see words written in Spanish. He then explained that there was a Translate App on his iPhone.

"I often use it to mess around and send texts to my friends who speak other languages.”

“That was really wonderful of you to take the time to use it to help her out!” I replied.

“Oh, well, that’s kind of you to say." His tone doing the double duty of accepting the compliment and, at the same time, almost downplaying it.

I found myself stressing how big a deal it was; she was already frazzled about boarding the wrong bus, the additional language barrier was another hurdle to navigate. We then had a brief conversation about getting on the wrong bus. He admitted to doing so a few times. I proffered that, while it's unfortunate to have the experience, at least he's more likely to double-check before boarding. He laughed and said he still had his moments.

At this point, the bus came to our stop, and as he and the woman stood to exit out the front, I moved towards the back. He wished me well, I returned the sentiment. And as the doors opened, I thought of how wonderful it was he had felt the pull to help the lady, and how happy I was to know I had that app on my phone should I ever need to use it in the future.

 

Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today. Always check in with yourself, first. Try to get clear, for you, what’s important.  Have a point of view on what this is for you.  Then, if you’re still feeling unsure regarding how to proceed, turn to someone you trust.  This can be difficult.  There are those in our lives who want the best for us and understand that how they may approach things, while right for them, isn’t necessarily right for you and the life you’re creating.  Knowing you’ll make the decision that feels right for you, they’ll still share their insights and make peace (or not 😉) with your final decision. They might even press a little bit more to see if they can sway you.  But you know, ultimately, they’ll honor your final decision. There are those who want the best for us but find it hard to allow you to live the life you’re creating.  They’ll share their insights (sometimes unsolicited 😉) and you’ll know, without doubt, how they’ll feel if you make a different choice. You’ll know even if it’s unsaid as energy speaks volumes. And there are those we don’t feel compelled to turn to (and it’s important to notice & be clear on the why of this). Every chance you get, go to those who will share their advice and still extend energetic freedom (with no traces of withholding love) for you to decide how you, ultimately, want to proceed. And when the circumstances are reversed, I implore you to be that person for someone else.   All the best with your inner and outer travels. Cheering. You. On. 

Cheering. You. On.

Yes, they can be hard. But whenever you can have these conversations and you're wondering if it's worth it, remember that your contribution to genuine inner peace is always worth your effort. Cheering. You. On.

 

Integrity vs Loyalty. Cheering. You. On.

Good luck in Earth school today.  Over the weekend,  I was listening to an audiobook and the word, Loyalty, kept coming up as the trait to praise/ aspire to.  But I kept wanting to switch it to, Integrity. ‘twas a work of fiction straddling two worlds: a present-day city in America and a fantasy world with dragons, magic, elves, and circumstances resulting in the need for a leader in the latter, to fight for and protect the land from the forces of evil. Every time loyalty was brought up, all I could see was the expectation that one should feel beholden: to something, someone, or an idea outside of them, and the potential dangers of such an expectation from oneself or others.  At a point in the story, character A says to character B that the reason B couldn’t believe C would turn against their land and people was due to B's loyalty to the land and people.  But I argued (out loud) that it was because, first and foremost, B has Integrity.  First, he considers and then he acts in alignment with his own ethical code, weighing matters and making decisions based on those beliefs. At the end of the day, I know the author wrote, loyalty. But I can’t help but feel that integrity is more important.  Had to get it off my chest 🙃 All the best with your inner and outer travels.  Cheering. You. On.