8/27/14 Entry (Closed Hearts)

Sometimes, it's rather tempting to mirror someone else's closed heart. But I've found it doesn't feel good. So, I have to take conscious steps to proceed in a manner that does feel good. Even if my first "instinct" is to reflect back the pain, and regardless of how long I hold on to this "instinct", somehow, someway, I have to remember I can always choose again. For my peace of mind, I have to choose again.

8/24/14 Observation (Dear Mr. Bus Driver)

Dear Mr. Bus Driver who let the lady passenger on this morning although you’d moved away from the Bus Stop, thank you.

Perhaps it touches my heart even more so because most of my life I've gotten from Point A to Point B with the assistance of public transportation. But what you did this morning was really wonderful to witness.

I was sitting on the steps of stoop-like-porch in front of the house on the corner of the street. You had already passed the Bus Stop. You had already made your pick ups and drop offs when I saw the lady running towards you. Actually, I heard her before seeing her run by me. She was half calling out and half muttering aloud to herself. The general bent of her speech was pleading for your bus to wait for her.

She ran by the side of the house. I never did see her face. Instead, I saw her arms waving in the air. I saw her long gray hair, cut in the style of a chin length bob, swinging behind her as she ran. And I could hear her winded exhalations as she moved her slightly full figured body towards the direction of the oncoming bus. As I said, I did not see her face, but I got the sense that she was a card carrying member of the older residents of the world. I came to this conclusion, partly because of the gray hair and partly because of the way she was moving. I could be absolutely wrong. The way she was moving and a head full of gray hair does not necessarily equal older citizen of the world status. But based on how her breathing underscored her words, I did feel she was moving as fast as she could—even if, technically, its execution could be described as more of a jog as opposed to full on running.

Taking all this into consideration, I thank you again, Mr. Bus Driver for stopping and letting her on.

You see, I’ve witnessed several Bus Drivers ignore others who have come running after the Bus has moved a few inches away from the stop-- even if the Bus is standing still due to being stuck in traffic. I can’t help but feel for the folks in those situations. I try not to judge the Bus Drivers because I’ve never been a Bus Driver, I don’t know what the pick up rules are, and I'm not in the Bus Driver's shoes.

I know the lady passenger was grateful. I heard her saying, “Thank you” as you came to a stop and opened the doors.

So allow me to add my thanks to hers, as well as an additional thank you for giving me the opportunity to bear witness to some kindness this morning smile emoticonHope you have a great day:)

8/23/14 Entry (Wishes and Prayers)

Whilst sitting on the steps in front of the house this morning, I said a silent prayer. Then, breathing deeply, I closed my eyes and allowed my face to be warmed by the sun's rays. When I opened my eyes, I saw a little, gray-white feather floating down towards me and finally landing next to me. I picked it up and smiled. I like to take this as a sign that my prayers were heard and answered smile emoticon Wishing you all a wonderful weekend, filled with lovingly answered prayers, wishes and hopes. Good luck out there heart emoticon

8/19/14 Entry (Remember to have Fun)

~Remember to have fun~

When I was in undergrad, part of my acting scholarship requirement was to audition for all the main stage shows--plays and musicals. We didn't have a Musical Theatre program--it was primarily Acting for the stage. But there was usually a musical production every semester. Now, while I did like to sing, truth be told, I was more comfortable doing it in the shower or as part of a choir as opposed to a solo performance in front of a live studio audience.Well, it came to pass that the school was putting on a musical and had hired a well known Musical Theatre performer/director/teacher outside of the school faculty to come in and direct it. So, I did my prep work--picked a song, went over it with a voice teacher and went to the audition. I made it through the first round and went on to the second round; callbacks. Now, it's a wonderful thing to get a callback. It meant that you were one step closer to being cast in the production. I did the callback and when the cast list was posted, my name wasn't on it. Yes, I was disappointed, but I didn't dwell on it too much until I got a call a few days later. I got a call from the director and she said she was calling to give me feedback. This was a rarity. Usually after auditioning for something and you don't get cast, you never know why and just move on to the next audition. But she went out of her way to call me and on top of that to give me actual feedback. She said that I had done a great job, but it came down to the fact that I didn't look like I was having any fun. Now, I was already taken aback by the call so in the moment I didn't fully process what she was saying. I mean, I heard her, but it didn't go further than that until I got off the phone. She asked if I had any questions, I said I didn't and then we said our goodbyes and hung up. But once I'd gotten over the call itself, I started to really take in what she'd said. She was absolutely right. I had been so focused on the work and doing it "right" that I made it more of a stressful situation for me. Fun and Joy ended up being the last things on my mind. Which, in hindsight, was pretty odd, since I loved Acting so much. Here, I'd been given the chance to do something I professed loving, but I forgot to enjoy doing it... I share this memory to say, today, remember to play, remember to embrace the opportunities that allow fun and joy to be a part of your life, your work, your day, etc. Sure, not everything in your day naturally lends itself to thoughts of fun, but there's got to be something in your day that allows the experience of fun. So, why not seize the opportunities that present themselves or create those fun opportunities yourself. Allow some fun in your day. I plan to.  Good luck :) 

wink emoticoGood luck heart emoticon

Signs

Before heading out to work this morning, I drew three cards.

ACTION, CREATIVE WRITING, VICTORY/DIVINE HELPERS.

It's practically screaming in my face. Take action, write, we're helping you, victory is assured. At least that's my interpretation.

It starts with commitment to discipline. Actually, I think it starts with desire and since I believe I do have that, it's then followed by commitment to discipline.

So, I'm off to write.

And I ask Archangel Gabrielle and my Divine Helpers for assistance with every aspect of it.

Thanks in advance♥