My own, affordable place that I love with all my heart and might. Living near tree lined Prospect Park or another park that fills me with inspiration and awe at its majestic beauty. Living in a beautiful, peaceful, happy environment. Enjoying coming home after work to a beautiful, tranquil, loving environment.
Successfully acting in projects that touch my spirit. Living as a successful, working, happy, wealthy, creatively inspired actress in all available mediums here and now. Making my living successfully creating and connecting with others--touching hearts, and having my heart touched in return. Being an Earth Angel.
Loving unconditionally with an open heart—knowing consciously that I can never be diminished no matter how the “other” chooses to regard me. Having more fun in my life. Laughing more. Easily forgiving myself so that I can be more open, loving and forgiving of others. More playful, more grounded, more consciously/creatively inspired.
Enjoying/experiencing a relationship where we steadily become the people we desire to be. Enjoying/experiencing a relationship where we are movements by ourselves and a force when we’re together. Enjoying/experiencing love without fear. Radiating love effortlessly. Sharing the love in my heart every time I hug. Being the best mother, sister, daughter, friend, co-worker, bright light that I can be.
Being consciously connected with my Higher Self and my Spirit Guides and my angels.
Being financially worry free.
Feeling great about myself, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally.
Experiencing: "My bounty is as boundless as the sea, / My love as deep; the more I give to thee/ The more I have, for both are infinite." (R&J) And, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,/ Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." (Hamlet)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Dear P_____
Dear P___,
Without sadness, without regrets, I’m trying to let you go.
I really want to embrace peace instead of the chaos that threatens to consume my thoughts when I go back and forth on whether or not to engage in something as simple as making eye contact. Yes, I fear that even an action as simple as eye-contact is already fraught with my potential one-sided baggage.
I think, maybe, deliberately ceasing to initate interacting will help me to let go of you sooner…I’m hoping that perhaps, if one day, in the not too distant future, I happen to look up and find you in my line of sight, we will be able to exchange a friendly, innocent greeting, without my thinking a few seconds later, “Well that was a mistake” or “What’s going to happen next time we see each other?” I’m hoping to cease feeding that monster, insecurity, scraps of “Why-didn’t-HE-initiate-more?” or “What-was-it-about-me-that-didn’t-inspire-him-to-initiate?”
I know in my heart and in my mind why we do what we do has nothing to do with others and everything to do with the individual orchestrating the action/reaction/interaction. Those actions/reactions speak volumes about the initiator. But, at the end of the day, in intention, lies the truth and only one person is in the best position to honestly label the nature of his/her intention simply because they are the only ones standing in their shoes.
So regardless of what the reasons are behind your non-intiation/follow thru, as I am the one standing in my shoes I feel the need to move on. And the only way I currently know how to do this, is to cease initiating.
Without sadness, without regrets, I’m trying to let you go.
I really want to embrace peace instead of the chaos that threatens to consume my thoughts when I go back and forth on whether or not to engage in something as simple as making eye contact. Yes, I fear that even an action as simple as eye-contact is already fraught with my potential one-sided baggage.
I think, maybe, deliberately ceasing to initate interacting will help me to let go of you sooner…I’m hoping that perhaps, if one day, in the not too distant future, I happen to look up and find you in my line of sight, we will be able to exchange a friendly, innocent greeting, without my thinking a few seconds later, “Well that was a mistake” or “What’s going to happen next time we see each other?” I’m hoping to cease feeding that monster, insecurity, scraps of “Why-didn’t-HE-initiate-more?” or “What-was-it-about-me-that-didn’t-inspire-him-to-initiate?”
I know in my heart and in my mind why we do what we do has nothing to do with others and everything to do with the individual orchestrating the action/reaction/interaction. Those actions/reactions speak volumes about the initiator. But, at the end of the day, in intention, lies the truth and only one person is in the best position to honestly label the nature of his/her intention simply because they are the only ones standing in their shoes.
So regardless of what the reasons are behind your non-intiation/follow thru, as I am the one standing in my shoes I feel the need to move on. And the only way I currently know how to do this, is to cease initiating.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Honestly Disappointed
I am honestly disappointed.
In lieu of hand delivery, I recently mailed out Thank you packages. Up till now, only one person sent an email response acknowledging said package and according to the Delivery Confirmation Number, they've all been delivered with the exception of one.
I shouldn't take it so personally, but right now, I can't help it. This colors my perception of every last one of them--perhaps because it is also my last impression of them up to date and its more than likely I will never see a handful of them again.
I know this feeling shall pass and I will use it to inform my actions when the roles are reversed. But right now, I can't help but feel disappointed...(And yes, the disappointment is my fault because I am choosing to be disappointed as opposed to just focusing on the smiles I hoped the gifts elicited whether or not I get actual confirmation of such a fleeting response to said gift).
Maybe I'm projecting the disappointment...maybe I'm disappointed in myself for taking to heart the lack of acknowledgment. Maybe it's not about them...
Sigh. I should just move on.
In lieu of hand delivery, I recently mailed out Thank you packages. Up till now, only one person sent an email response acknowledging said package and according to the Delivery Confirmation Number, they've all been delivered with the exception of one.
I shouldn't take it so personally, but right now, I can't help it. This colors my perception of every last one of them--perhaps because it is also my last impression of them up to date and its more than likely I will never see a handful of them again.
I know this feeling shall pass and I will use it to inform my actions when the roles are reversed. But right now, I can't help but feel disappointed...(And yes, the disappointment is my fault because I am choosing to be disappointed as opposed to just focusing on the smiles I hoped the gifts elicited whether or not I get actual confirmation of such a fleeting response to said gift).
Maybe I'm projecting the disappointment...maybe I'm disappointed in myself for taking to heart the lack of acknowledgment. Maybe it's not about them...
Sigh. I should just move on.
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