Observing illusion

I saw my gym crush today.

I had decided to workout downstairs where the weight machines were before going upstairs for my cardio.

I had hoped to catch a glimpse of him, but I was also really focused on working out. It had been sometime since I had been downstairs and I wanted to make it count.

When I happened to see him, I was startled. And although I continued going through the motions of working out, mindful exercising almost immediately took a back seat. My heart began lightly racing as I wondered whether today was the day that I would have the opportunity to speak with him. With determination, I turned to my machine giving it my full focus, struggling to finish my final set and when I looked back, he was laughing and appeared to be working out with an attractive young lady.

In that moment, I was aware of the temptation to feel sad--as if I had lost my one golden opportunity. Maybe if I had spoken to him some months ago when I first noticed him... Maybe if I had spoken to him that one day a few weeks ago when we exchanged words for the very first time... Maybe if I had just waited one day after my workout with the sole goal of introducing myself to him... Maybe...what? Even in that moment, surreptitiously watching him happily engaging with another of Eve's daughters--a fellow sister in spirit, I was also aware that I was about to mourn a loss that was based on...maybes.

Maybes are not truth. What is truth? Well in this particular case according to my eyes, a man who I don't know from Adam is laughing and working out with someone who also happens to be an attactive young lady. That is the truth. Anything else I was tempted to think was an illusion--reactions to made up scenarios in my mind as opposed to the objective observation of the thing itself.

During the rest of my workout downstairs and even when I went upstairs, I genuinely asked for Divine assistance in seeing the situation honestly. She could be a friend. She could be a girlfriend. She could be his relative. But at the end of the day, what I saw were two people having a positive exchange of energy. And honestly, even in the midst of the temptation to feel sad, I was happy that they both appeared to be having a good time. I guess on some level that counts for something.

Well. I think, if I am still given the perfect opportunity by the Universe, I will still ask him out. Whatever his reply, I will be the better for it. Whatever his reply.