Chasing Pavement?

This morning, as I was working out downstairs, I saw him. And today, he was by himself.

At one point, I purposely walked by him as he was doing sit-ups on the floor. I walked over to the water fountain, took a few sips, and then walked by him again determined not to make eye contact. I headed over to another part of the gym, got on a machine, and watched his reflection complete his sit-up reps. When he finished, he got up and went into the Men's Locker Room.

Now, the machine I was sitting on was a few feet away from said Locker Room. Watching the entrance to the Locker Room, I silently repeated to myself, "If I am given the opportunity, I'm going to speak to him today. If I am given the opportunity, this will be the day." When he finally came out, he had his coat on and began heading upstairs. Right then and there, I decided to try to create an opportunity and catch up to him.

I got up the stairs and saw him moving towards the gym entrance, about to make his exit. I hesitated for an instant but then shook it off and continued forward towards the door. He walked out into the dark, rainy morning and by the time I got there, I had absolutely no idea which way he went. Refusing to be deterred, I ran to the corner with hopes that I would catch a glimpse of him, prepared to call out, "Hey, excuse me, can I ask you a question?" But no one was there.

I went back into the gym, this time continuing my workout upstairs, intensely aware of not knowing how to feel about what had just happened. Thoughts fluctuated between, "Apparently, it wasn't meant to be--at least not today," and "Help me to stay peaceful as I watch to see this play out--however it plays out."

The next time I'm at the gym will be on Friday. Perhaps I should smile at him or wave at him if we happen to make eye contact...

Why have I never smiled at or said hello to him? My automatic response has always been to watch him secretly and then look away if it appears we are about to make eye contact...Why?

"Things that make you go hmm..."