Sensory and Mental Snapshots taken on a Sidewalk in Brooklyn

Sensory snapshot: Steadily falling rain easily impeding eyesight, so, even with jacket’s hood on, head mostly bowed from time to time 

 

Sensory snapshot: Sneakered feet transitioning from street to sidewalk

 

Sensory snapshot: A shout  

 

Mental snapshot: To my right, a little boy, maybe 4 years old, maybe of Spanish descent, peeking out at something in the direction I’m headed while closely shadowing a residential fire door sandwiched between the storefronts of two local businesses 

 

Passing thought: He looks so young.  Who’s watching after him?

 

Mental snapshot: Up ahead, to my right, the Chinese and Thai restaurant I’ve patronized in the past

 

Mental snapshot: Up ahead, an NYC Bus Operator Supervisor walking towards the bus stop located on my left side, to the left of the sidewalk 

 

Mental snapshot: A basketball lying on a grassy patch directly to the left of the sidewalk 

 

Sensory and Mental snapshots sliding into place: 

 

The Bus Operator Supervisor was not headed to the bus stop.  

His was the shout I heard when I first stepped onto the sidewalk.  

That basketball, prevented from rolling into traffic by that patch of grass, was, prior to this, under the care of the little boy.  

Noticing it had gotten away from the child, but not knowing if it would continue into traffic, the Supervisor had called out to prevent any chance of the child chasing after it. 

 

Mental snapshot: Passing the Supervisor as he’s inches away from the basketball 

 

Passing thought: He’ll get the ball back to the child.

 

Passing thought: Dear Bus Operator Supervisor, good looking out. Thank you and good work. 

Puddles

On my way to physical therapy the other day, I stepped one booted foot into a melting puddle of snow and laughed out loud. 

I wasn’t actively trying to step into melting snow puddles. I’d actually been, quite actively, working on avoiding them.  Painstakingly so. 

According to weather reports, over the prior weekend, my neighborhood had received about 10 inches of snow.  A day after, some of the fluffy white stuff began to brown, ice, slush and in some areas, melt into brown puddles, great and small.  

Feeling the added weight of my sorel boot-clad-feet (I meant business 😉), first I’d survey the landscape, then pull back to zoom in a few steps ahead, zero in on a puddle, try to ascertain how quickly & easily I could hit solid ground, and then make my move.  It had been working; I’d been guessing correctly (yes, no matter how hard I stare beforehand, it still, oftentimes, involves some guesswork).  And then came that moment where I guessed wrong.  

It was on the heels of making it over a lagoon of a puddle; one very long look at the melted, deep, murky “adventure” awaiting my boots & balance, and you better believe I took all the time I needed to make it to the other side.  Successful and, admittedly, feeling pretty proud of myself, when I spied the next, smaller, innocuous looking puddle, I wasn’t as careful.  When my boots made contact, solid ground was a little farther than I had imagined!  And that unwelcomed, unexpected slide that followed?  Enough to surprise an extended laugh out of me! Thankfully, it was manageable (i.e., I was still standing) or it might not have ended up a laughing matter 🙃

Good luck with the puddles—the ones you think you’re prepared for and the ones that end up surprising you 😉

Energy and a Greeting

“Good morning, Beautiful,” he said out of nowhere.  I didn’t know him.  And I had on a mask so he couldn’t really see my face.  Bundled up in winter layers (coat, camo-print sweatpants, heavy snow-conquering boots), I was also a bit lopsided from the laundry bag-- the strap on my left shoulder, the bulk of the weight hanging down my back, filled to the brim with freshly laundered clothes.   In my right hand, I carried two grocery bags; just a few items.  I’d decided with the store being so close, I might as well get these now instead of coming back out after putting the clothes away.  

 

 

I’d passed a few people on the street but he was the first to look me in the eye and initiate a hello. 

 

 

Exiting a UPS store, he wore a camel-colored trench, was sporting a softly slicked back mane of wavy silver gray, had light blue or possibly gray eyes, and a pleasant, confident, open energy about him.

 

 

Something about his delivery--energy radiating off it, and then his energy-- the pausing to make eye contact before continuing on his journey, had me automatically lighting up.  Before I knew it, I had stopped, turned around and was responding with, “Thank you! And good morning to you, too!”  

 

 

At this point, he was standing by a car, but looking back at me. “You’re welcome, and thank YOU!” He smiled.  Looking at my bags he added, “Can I drop you off somewhere?”  I smiled (which he couldn’t see, but I’d like to believe he could feel), told him I was fine and thanked him again. He nodded.

Still feeling lit up, I turned around and continued on my way. What a pleasant experience 😊 

Wanting to Forgive while Currently Still Angry

I'm currently navigating a relationship where, mentally, I genuinely want to forgive and am taking the steps that I can to continue walking down that path, while, at the same time, I'm being honest with myself that I'm still feeling angry and judge-y.

I'll get "there." Because that's important to me.

Just as it's important for me to honor how I'm feeling-- be honest with myself-- and be present with how messy the journey currently feels, sometimes.