After meditating this morning, I found myself remembering an interaction.
Years ago, I had reached out to a friend and, partially in jest, with some truth mixed in, thanked them for “convincing” me to do such and such. They replied along the lines that they were tired of having to convince people to do things. I’m about 97% certain that I didn’t say anything that would give voice to the feelings nudging at me, requiring language. And, even with their energetic nudging, I didn’t attempt to try. Truth is, I have more language today. These days, I am more inclined to pay attention and honor the nudges. These days, I’m getting better at taking the time to give myself permission to reply in a way that feels more honoring, hopefully to all parties involved, than I was able to back then.
Today, I would say: “I think I misled you by using the word, ‘convincing.’ I should have said, ‘Thank you for making this suggestion; I’m glad I eventually took it on board.’ Please know that in our relationship, you never have to feel like you should ‘convince’ me of something. Feel free to proffer consciously weighed suggestions, feel free to gift me what you think would be helpful to me/ contribute in some way to my wellbeing. But only do it if you’ll, ultimately, be at peace if I don’t take on the suggestion, or if I decide to decline the gift, or if I don’t put the gift to use in a way that you wanted. That’s how to be the kind of friend that I need. That’s how to support me in being free in the choices that I choose to make when it comes to living my life.”
Although I didn’t say this back then, I’m grateful to have connected with it today. For me, this connecting means that, in the future, should I find myself in a situation like this, I’ll have to practice breathing slowly, checking in and based on what I find, give myself permission to speak up for myself as lovingly and as consciously as I am able to in the moment. Or if, for whatever reason, it’s not possible in the moment, then as soon as I am able.
I share in case you find any aspect of it to be helpful on this leg of your journey.
All the sincere best wishes with the rest of your day 😊