Thoughts on Being Responsible versus Feeling Responsible

There’s a difference between being responsible (I.e you’re in a position that comes with accepted expectations) versus feeling responsible (I.e, emotionally/ energetically taking on something that might or might not be yours to carry). Just a thought I needed to give voice to to help me differentiate between the two and help me remember, especially with the latter example, that before piling on the mental/ emotional/ energetic weight, to really look and see what is mine to carry and what isn’t. 

Good luck with your today. Holding space for the best possible journey and outcome. And cheering you on 🙂

Returning to Love

Remember to breathe.

When you catch yourself entertaining old habits that you promised to gently free yourself from.

And pat yourself on the shoulder every time you succeed in keeping that promise.

As for the moments when you give into the habits? 

Acknowledge what happened.

Then make that promise to yourself again. Gently. Kindly.

And give yourself props for every fresh moment you choose to return to love.

It’s okay to feel how you feel

It’s okay to feel how you feel

It doesn’t mean you have to feel this way about this person, this interaction, this place, this thing, forever. 

And it’s more than okay when something happens and now you feel differently 

It doesn’t negate or devalue the feelings you had even seconds ago

It doesn’t mean you have to doubt or abandon the part of you that felt those feelings so strongly,

The part of you that would have sworn on a stack of bibles that this was how you were feeling.

So you’re feeling something else now,

Something unlike what you felt before has now rented space.

And that’s perfectly okay.

It just means you’re staying present to your feelings and allowing yourself to embrace the flow.

And that’s, always, more than okay.

Welcome to a new week/ Cheering you on

“Arrange whatever pieces come your way”— Virginia Woolf

“Dwell in possibly”— Emily Dickinson

Two quotes I hadn’t thought about in a long time that, literally, popped into my head, in that order, over the weekend.

And so, as we embark upon this new week, I share them as encouragement to, hopefully, help in navigating the journey.  Good luck with everything. Holding space for the best possible outcome. Sending love. Cheering you on💛✨✨✨

Happy Mother’s Day, May 2020

In my part of the world, today is celebrated as Mother’s Day. And though this day is singled out, I’d like to take a moment to say to everyone who mothers every day, and to all who’ve ever mothered— emphasis on the verbs in both cases intended— you’re all rock stars. Every single one of you. I’ve babysat infants. Only babysat. And those were just infants.  So yeah, rock stars. Thank you for all the hard decisions you make, thank you for your hard work, thank you for the love you give, thank you for all the time spent on and behind the scenes. Just wanted to give a shout out from someone navigating this world with your children (no matter how old they might be). Thank you 💛✨✨✨

Shelter from the Rain. Seen in Brooklyn.

This was an observation from early March that I never got around to posting until now.

A thoroughly rainy morning. So wet that, if you could afford to, it’s skipping-travels-into-the-outside-world weather. I was standing at the bus stop when I saw two people, perhaps a couple, make their way to a car, sharing shelter under the umbrella he was holding. He appeared very focused on making sure she didn’t get wet and so, together, they inched along until they reached the car. He didn’t leave her side until she was sitting in the passenger seat and her door was closed. Then, with a marked change in pace, he strode over to the driver’s side, got in and waited until the last possible moment before collapsing his umbrella. Not long after, he carefully pulled out of the parking space and drove away. 

Set against that backdrop of torrential rain, I was especially drawn to the care with which he sheltered her to her car door and seat.

Surprise in the time of Social Distancing

I went outside to throw away the trash and check the mail. Afterwards, as I was making my way down the steps to walk through the gate leading back to my place behind the main house, I heard voices call out, “Surprise!”  Looking up, I saw four young ladies on the steps across the street.

The three who had called out were each carrying various celebratory items, but my eyes immediately went to the one holding all the festive balloons. They were all wearing face masks and facing the fourth lady, the recipient of said surprise, who kept exclaiming behind her face mask (but with such unmasked joy) how she couldn’t believe they had done this for her! Apparently one of the ladies, the one filming with her phone, had called a few moments before and told her to come outside and she hadn’t understood why.  

I was so touched by it all and I wasn’t even the one on the receiving end of the surprise! The mix of glee, joy, and awe that filled the air was so palpable that as I made my way back inside I just kept thinking how absolutely beautiful! It made me think of the Facebook posts I’ve read of people stopping by someone’s home and, from a distance, acknowledging the other person’s birthday or some other celebratory event. I always got a kick out of reading those stories. But bearing witness to it in real life? Ahh-mazing ♥️  

So glad I had the chance to share in the experience ♥️

In the Pause. One week gone by.

Today marks a week since being laid off. I find myself labeling this— what I’ve been living since 5pm last Friday— as the pause. After the exhale, but before the inhale. But in that pause:

I have filed for Unemployment (thank you to the Earth angels whom I invited along on that process— you know who you are since you got texts from the start of the process through the end of it 🙏🏾).

My dear friend convinced me to ask my landlord for some type of discount and grace period while I await what happens with the Unemployment claim I filed. I wasn’t going to at first. I didn’t think my landlord would. But I did. And my landlord gave me a small discount and the grace period. So, one never truly knows unless one asks.

I canceled my gym membership. I had joined last autumn and it was the cheapest membership but I felt this was the decision I needed to make. Now, my gym had already frozen all memberships so I wasn’t being charged. But I went online to see how I might cancel.  I did a general search using the gym franchise and “cancellation.” Found an email address I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Sent the email. A few days later, I received a reply that they understood and that it was now cancelled. The ease with which it came to pass was a blessing. The next day, they sent a customer service follow up poll. I gave them high marks.

I called my cellphone provider.  I’ve been with them since 2003. I asked to speak with a customer retention representative and explained my situation.  I was able to get a reduced phone plan and I got a discount on my current bill.

It’s also been a week of letting go of things, and getting quieter (in the most helpful of ways) and seeing some of the energetic-and-healthier-relating-to-life changes I’m anchoring in. 

There have been ups and downs but so many, many more ups. And there’s been some helpful insights in every single “down.”

There’s one more thing on my to-do list. I think it’ll be done by this time next week. We’ll see.

Hope there’s been much light, clarity and perseverance throughout your week thus far. And even more than that, I hope there’s much light, clarity and perseverance in all your days to come.  However things are unfolding for you, whatever the circumstances, wishing you your best journey. Sending love, and cheering you on.