Two Running through the Subway

As they were speed walking across the train station terminal, the little boy--who looked to be on the small side of 5 or 6 years of age--glanced up at the older woman, two steps ahead of him.

There was enough of a similarity in their facial features to support the conjecture that they were related-- either as Mother and son, older sister and little brother, or maybe even Aunt and young nephew.

Trying to keep up, he moved quickly, exaggerating the swinging of both arms as if to help in propelling him farther than his little legs could carry him.

Already in the lead, and showing no signs of slowing down, the woman seemed to pay him no mind.  But it also occurred to me that, perhaps, she was just confident that he wasn't too far behind and therefore felt no need to check in on him.

Now, a few feet ahead of the boy was a display that had a square opening just wide enough, high enough, and tempting enough for him to want to climb through. And so, unable to resist, he slowed his pace and satisfied the pull for exploration.

As this was unfolding, the female paused mid stride and happened to  look back at her young charge at the exact moment he was climbing through the fixture's opening. And to my pleasant surprise, despite the fact she had to pause, and despite the fact that he had taken a brief detour, she didn't appear to be upset.  She didn't scold him. She didn't silently judge him via facial expression or physical demeanor.  It felt almost as if she had allowed him the space to be a kid while trusting they would be able to make up the time spent.

From my vantage point, it was easy to see how appealing the opening had been. But I'm relatively certain that those responsible for setting up the display, had never envisioned that it would call out to a specific group of society in the manner in which non realistic structures found on playgrounds call out for exploration by those same aforementioned members of society.

I liked that he had felt comfortable enough in her company to indulge in his own mini adventure and I very much appreciated bearing witness to the calm with which she responded.

When he climbed out the other end of the display, he promptly broke into a run, caught up to her, and together, made their quick exit out of the station.

Dandelion Fluff Genie

On my walk home from the subway station-- I decided not to wait for the bus-- I saw a dandelion fluff float by. I tried to catch it, but alas, was unsuccessful in the attempt. So, via my thoughts, I said something to the effect, If I catch one, I'm going to make a wish. Well, closer to home, another opportunity presented itself, but again, it floated by too quickly. I actually had a better chance at catching the earlier one, as this one teased me with its presence by floating by on my periphery.  I think I laughed and thought something along the lines of, Oh man--so close (or maybe something a bit more colorful 😜)!  When I got home, I decided to do some sweeping. I opened up the front door and began my task and guess what floated inside? Yep, my very own make-a-wish-dandelion-fluff!  So, I finished sweeping, made my wish and released it back into the wild. I'm looking forward to my wish coming through, but really rather tickled that my wish granting opportunity, literally, came to me :)

To the Man Standing on the Uptown Train

To the man on the uptown train across the platform from where I waited to make my downtown connection. Thank you.

I watched as you found yourself suddenly standing in front of a newly vacated seat on your very crowded train. You had what looked to be an iPhone in your left hand and a black leather strap-- presumably connected to a bag-- hanging off of your right shoulder. Your framing through the subway car window gave the impression as though I was viewing a character on a television show with the volume on mute. Not a surprising connection if you entertain the idea that, in any given moment, anyone being observed is a character starring in his or her own drama, comedy, documentary, etc.

I read your lips as you singled out passengers standing around, "Do you want to sit down? Does anybody want to sit?" You asked about three times. Finally, when no one stepped forward, you turned around and claimed it for yourself. At that moment-- the exact moment when you sat down--you made me smile.

I don't know how long you had been standing for or how much longer your commute was going to be, but speaking on behalf of all people who have ever boarded a train or bus hoping for a seat, I thank you for the asking. It would have been perfectly understandable if you had just decided to take the seat as soon as it was vacant-- that being the normal practice particularly for a seat directly in front of you. And it's not a foregone conclusion that because you're a male you have to offer the seat to any women in the vicinity. At least not to me. I mean it makes my heart beam when I bear witness to this. But I also know men get tired too and that no matter how physically fit someone looks on the outside, it's possible he may be dealing with something else on the inside.

But the heart of my reason for smiling? The fact that you sat and, once you sat, the way that you settled into the seat, told me you were happy to sit. And after witnessing the bit that transpired before the sitting, and then to see/sense you being happy in the experience of sitting? Well, honestly, that made me happy too.

Sitting in the Space in Between

Sometimes I want to connect but realize or feel there to be a pit to surmount.

A pit of past and present painful perceptions--

perceptions not necessarily objective so

maybe it’s all in my head.

In times like these, I’m grateful though for the conscious self--

the self that desires to connect.

I’m grateful that that objective self remembers to ask for divine assistance with surrender,

and sets the intent that all unfold in a manner aligned with the greatest and highest good for all concerned.

And so, in the interim, while the powers that be--the faeries of the Universe--play their part,

both selves—the objective and subjective—sit in various degrees of comfort/discomfort, 

awaiting miracles.

Reflecting...

A moment ago, I realized I was perpetuating a pattern I used to patronize at one point in time—a pattern that I have worked on healing and not giving into—but now, when I’ve just consciously perpetuated it because it actually felt more healthy for me given the particular circumstances I found myself in—carrying it out felt, oddly, but clearly, disappointing. Disappointing to the point of being surprised by tears. This helps me realize/remember that actions considered unhelpful in some circumstances can be absolutely valid in others. I don't believe there's any danger in perpetuating it in the manner i used to--the manner that I worked on healing. But it is possible when I choose to use it now as a more healthy approach to certain circumstances, I may continue to encounter that surprise of tears--at least for some time,-- because, on a heart level, I'm saddened that I even have to employ it at all.

Guarding My Light

I take responsibility,

though your unawareness

influenced my decision to lock in my light,

I take responsibility.

I remember turning the lock

and surprising my eyes when tears blurred my vision.
'Tears? What happened? Whose tears are these? Why are they here?'

As I, too, was surprised, I looked down,

and in the looking, I understood.

I had shut in my light

when I shut you out