On the Anderson Cooper Podcast, All There Is, in an episode
released on Oct. 19, 2022, he speaks with artist and composer Laurie Anderson.
In the last 5 or 6 minutes of the episode, he asks her to tell a story. It’s
about an incident that occurred with her twin brothers when she was around 8
and they were about 2 years old. As the second of eight children, Laurie viewed
taking care of the younger kids as part of her job, and she really loved taking
care of the twins. On this particular winter’s day, she took them out in their
stroller to see a movie near their home. They lived in an area and were growing
up at a time when this didn’t feel out of the ordinary. They also lived near a
lake that had frozen over due to the weather. On their way back home, with thoughts
of pointing out something spectacular, Laurie took them over the frozen lake.
And at some point in their travels, a section of the ice cracked, and the
stroller carrying the twins sank into the water.
Laurie said her first thought was, "Mom’s going to kill me." With
that, she took off her jacket and dove into the water. Finding one of the
twins, she pulled him out and laid him on a section of ice. Jumping back into
the water to find the other twin, she panicked when she couldn’t. This twin was
still strapped to the stroller, which had sunk farther down than she had
expected. Finally locating the stroller, she released him and got him back up
above the ice. She recalled that this brother was screaming, and the other was
blue. They lived about three blocks away, and she was able to get them home.
Once there, fully expecting screaming, punishment, upset, etc., she told her
mom what happened. "And instead, she said, ‘You know, I didn't know you
were such a great swimmer and such a good diver.’ And I… kind of froze. Because
of all the things that she could have said. It literally changed my life. To be
thanked for something like that. I mean, I did do my best, and she saw that
actually." Laurie goes on to say that being able to see herself and be seen
as a hero in the story really affected her. "I thought I─I can do things.
Somebody just recognized that I can do things. And this person gave me this
benefit of the doubt, you know, and it gave me so much in that one sentence.
Much later, I really thought if I could ever do that for someone, I will."
When Laurie shared her mother's reaction, I remember going very still. She had
been able to choose that particular response at that particular moment. I found
myself wondering what it would take for me to be able to respond in the same
way.
In the space of a few seconds or minutes, I’d have to remember that Laurie was
a child—8 years old. I’d have to remember that she didn’t set out to hurt her
little brothers. I’d have to remember seeing her prior interactions with the
twins and witnessing the love in those interactions. I’d have to imagine how
freaked out I would be to see the ice crack and a stroller with two kids in it
disappear into the frigid waters beneath. I’d have to remember that an
8-year-old saw this and acted quickly to try to save her siblings. I’d have to
remember that she succeeded. I'd have to remember that everyone made it home.
Whatever made it possible for her mother to connect to and make that response,
it was/it is, to my mind, the most amazing, conscious, and loving response.
Love took the lead here where fear could have easily dominated.