“You lost, you’re a loser,” I heard the guardian say.
His partner and I were in one room, while he and their little ones were in the next.
Their little ones, ages three and four, had been playing a game and the guardian had been observing. It appears the three-year-old had missed an opportunity thereby allowing her sibling to win.
“You lost, you’re a loser.” The guardian’s partner and I exchanged a look. Knowing the guardian, the first half of the statement was meant to be factual and the second half, possibly, teasing. But, as someone who’s been on the receiving end of his blunt style of delivery, I knew first-hand how expensive his brand of teasing can be.
So, when a wailing little one with a river of tears already flowing down her cheeks came to us, I comforted her, while the guardian’s partner addressed the former.
Within a short period of time, the little one appeared calmer. Less than twenty minutes later, she was seated in the throne of the guardian’s embrace, both laughing, both enjoying each other’s company.
The next morning, it popped into my head how I might be able to assist this little one if she was ever in that situation again. Approaching the guardian’s partner, I said, in the context of playing a game, if someone ever calls C__, a loser, then have her reply with, “I’m not a loser, I’m learning.” I included examples to help C__ realize that much of life is learning how to do something she didn’t necessarily know how to do before. Once upon a time, she didn’t know how to walk, didn’t know how to use a spoon, or hold a cup; all required practice until she learned how to do them by herself.
I’m grateful the idea/ words came to me. And if the guardian’s partner hadn’t been around, I would have shared it with the little one myself.
A few days after the incident, the guardian’s partner told me of an exchange that occurred. Apparently, the guardian had invented a game for the little ones, explained the rules, and the four-year-old won. But when the guardian told the three-year-old she had lost, her four-year-old brother immediately interjected, “She’s not a loser, she’s learning.” Elated and taken by surprise, I turned to him and told him how awesome he was for looking out for his little sister! And now, I feel more confident that these two little ones will remember to use that sentence to empower themselves should the need ever arise.
I was reminded of what occurred
when I read the following:
https://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/articledisplay.cgi?aid=84593