PSA on Helping

I read two posts recently that had me thinking.  Both had a scenario where someone was asking for help.  

In one scenario, a young child and a slightly older sibling were approached in a hospital waiting room by a stranger with some story that they had a friend in the bathroom who needed help. The stranger suggested that the children could be of service in getting the stranger's friend out of the bathroom. But the older sibling wouldn't budge and the stranger eventually left.  When the children mentioned this to their Guardian, the Guardian told the hospital staff, and the bathrooms were searched. There was no one there who needed assistance.  When the older sibling was asked why he didn't help, he stated it didn't make sense that with all the adults around that could help, the stranger turned to children.

In the second scenario, a man posts that in the early hours of the morning, a woman frantically knocked on his door saying she needed help. He said to her he would help by calling the police, to which she ended up replying not to and went away.  He still called the police and when they arrived, they saw no signs of a woman or any altercation.  In this scenario, it appears that the man whose door was knocked on was aware of instances where people trying to break into homes would set up a ruse to play upon people's inclination to assist those who appeared to be in need.

I post this because preying on someone's inclination to be of service can happen-- especially where children are involved.  Most kids are taught to help when they can.  Heck, I like to help when I can.  But while helping when one can is wonderful, it's important to take in the whole scene and if something feels off, not to immediately do what is being asked/demanded/ expected of you, but to see how to involve others who are actually better equipped to help.

Something to think about-- regardless of age. 

Whatever You Choose to Make of It

I got to work early this morning only to find that the elevators weren’t working and the fire alarm lights were flashing.

 

There wasn’t a fire. 

But something had tripped up the system and it was now stuck.  Which made two of us.  

And so I munched on my Starbuck’s breakfast sandwich and tried to get an idea of how things would most likely unfold.  I was there early.  A full hour earlier than the Front desk attendant was to show up. 

Well, at least I was indoors and out of the rain.

About 10 minutes later, another person showed up.  He too had arrived early to get some work done. His office was on the 8^th floor.  Mine on the 7^th. He called the Super.  The Super wouldn’t be arriving for about another hour.

So, my new friend and I—I’ll call him D-- passed the time talking. Amongst other things, I learned he was one of the Higher ups at his job on the 8^th floor.  We talked about Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, his little girl who was going through a stage where she only gravitated towards books with pink and purple covers, the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series currently being read by his son.  We talked about September 11 (he was here in the City, I was in Graduate school in a different state), and about people coming together to help each other, he brought up the two major blackouts the city has experienced since he’s been here and how those experiences inspired him to set up emergency provisions at his place of work for any future emergencies. 

About 45 minutes into our wait, one of his employees came in and ended up joining us.  Not long after, someone else from a different floor came in.  This man was quite unhappy about not being able to get to his floor.  Although D invited him over, he opted to keep to himself.

Finally, the Front Desk Attendant came in and not long after someone else arrived and eventually, the elevators were up and running again.

We got to my floor first, and after exchanging, “It was very nice to meet yous,” bid goodbye to D and the gang.

Walking into my office, an hour and a half after I first got there, I found myself thinking, “What was I supposed to get out of all that transpired this morning?”(I do that sometimes—wondering why something happened or what I’m supposed to learn from what has happened.) But on the heels of that came the answering thought, “Whatever you choose to make of it.”  In which case, since there was nothing else I could have done to get from the lobby to my floor, I’m grateful that I still ended up experiencing a pleasant enough morning J And special thanks to D-- many thanks to D-- for helping to make it so J

In the Presence of Love-- Seen on the bus

Sitting on the B41 local bus headed uptown, I saw two siblings get on. 

The oldest, a girl, whose thick, long black hair fell just below the middle of her back, looked to be about 6 or 7.  She wore a gray long sleeved top over pink slacks and black sneakers and carried a Princess Anna doll-- the latter sporting the gray lock of hair amidst the sea of brown, neatly coiffed under a jeweled crown.

The little girl was followed by her brother. He looked to be about 4 or 5, and had on gray sweatpants, under a long sleeved dark blue and white top.  His expressive joy filled face, framed by the straight as rain black of a bowl haircut.

They took the first two seats on the left hand side of the bus and when their mother boarded, she took the only available seat, one person down, across from them on the right hand side.

As soon as she sat down, they actively sought to catch her eye.  Eye contact made, they smiled at her and gestured -- checking in to make sure they were okay where they were sitting. She smiled in return with such warmth, I couldn't help but feel happy in their presence.  

Content, the children danced in their seats-- the girl playing with her doll, and the boy, effortlessly vibrant, simply expressing the joy and carefree nature often associated with happy children.  And without a doubt, these were truly happy children.

At one point, the little boy leaned forward in his seat.  The girl, who consistently checked in with her mother from time to time (actually both of them did), quickly figured out that her mom wanted her to keep her brother safe.  Her solution was to hold out her right arm in front of her brother akin to the bar on amusement park rides that keeps the passengers upright and secure for the duration of the ride.

When the passenger who had been sitting next to the boy got up to exit, both kids excitedly called for their mom to come over.  Beaming at them, she did, and once physically reunited, kissed them both.

Not long after, she glanced down and saw her daughter's shoelace coming untied.  She gestured for the foot, and the little girl laid it over her brother's knees, who, in turn, gasped, playfully affronted by his sister's actions.  Mom and sister laughed while mom finished tying the laces.

Finally, the bus came to their stop.  The girl got off first, followed by the mom who picked up the boy and at the same time called out, "Thank you" to the driver.  Without skipping a beat, the young boy also called out an enthusiastic, "Thank you!"

The last I saw of them, mom held her son's right hand, daughter was playing with Princess Anna and both children were literally skipping down the sidewalk. What a wonderful experience to bear witness to♥️

Two on a Bus-- Siblings

I was sitting on the B41 Local bus as a small crowd of new passengers boarded.

A little boy, wearing a shy looking smile and the expression of a dreamer, passed by and made his way to the back.  He appeared to be around 3 or 4, with just-below-the-nape, long brown hair, large red framed glasses, and wore a grey and red fleece hoodie-- grey hood and sleeves-- over a dark blue pair of khakis.

Two passengers later, a young lady,  sharing similar facial features, possibly 16 or 17 years of age, came in and stood next to a two seater closer to the middle of the bus.  She then called out to him, and pointed at the seats.  She called out a few times, gesturing him over and then indicating the seats.  

At first, it seemed he was set to stay where he was.  But she continued to insist, firmly and pleasantly, all the while showing no signs of impatience.

Finally, he slowly made his way over to her, slid into the space backwards--his front facing the seat--and then, when he was in,  turned around to sit down.

I was drawn to how gentle she was from the moment she first called out to him, all the way until he settled in.  There was no self consciousness on her part, no signs of judgement or nonverbal commentary about the situation.  She simply stayed open, held her ground, and gave him time to come over and sit in the manner he wanted.  It was lovely.

Later, when they prepared to exit, she leaned down, picked him up and made her way down the stairs.  Once on the sidewalk, she placed him on solid ground.  Last I saw, they were holding hands as they disappeared into the crowd.

Sidewalk Race in Brooklyn

At the sounds of squeals and laughter, I looked across the street from where I stood waiting at the city bus stop, and sprinting up the sidewalk, three young girls were engaged in a race.  

Two of them looked to be about 7 and 9, respectively, while the tallest of the three, about 11. Over their blue jeans, the young ones had on winter coats-- one in a puffy black number, the other in a magenta version. The tallest girl was wearing a primarily white base sweatshirt with a pattern I was unable to make out.

The girl in magenta was in the lead, and so certain was she of victory, that at one point, she turned around, placed her thumbs in each ear, wiggled the remaining fingers tauntingly and stuck out her tongue.

This, in turn, spurred the tallest to tap into a newly discovered reservoir of speed, and had her picking up her pace.  With a look of surprise, that quickly changed to delight and then determination, the girl in the lead, turned back around and redoubled her efforts.

This all seemed to have the opposite effect on the younger girl in the black coat. She stopped in her tracks for about 20 seconds and watched the others. But then changed her mind and once again broke into a run.

Finally, they were all reunited at the end of the sidewalk -- which coincidentally, faced a traffic stop where the signal stated they did not have the right of way.

Perhaps the plan was always to stop at that fixed point, or perhaps the stop signal made the decision for them.  But they stood together, laughing and teasing each other, while their guardians, three older females, with large purses and one pink roller bag, caught up to them.  

When the signal changed,  they continued their journey and I found myself wondering when last I had engaged in a physical, impromptu race with friends simply for the sake of playing.

Happy Mother's Day

Taking a moment to salute all the mothers out there and especially the ones I've been blessed to interact with or see in action.  For all you've done with love in your heart-- the listening, commiserating, teaching, empowering, cuddles, kisses, and yes, even the disciplining born of love, thank you.  Be thou near or a phone call away, or no longer on this physical plane of existence, thoughts of you are filled with love, thoughts of you are cherished. Happy Mother's Day♥️