Maya Angelou says, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
I had an exchange with someone and at the end of it I felt I had given more than I had received. I had shared more of my heart and although what I received was OK, something in me knew that it was clearly not as open as what I had proffered.
I thought about this for some time.
This was/is a nice person—has been in all of our interactions. But something was nagging me about the whole thing and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Since I knew I was reacting from the perspective that something didn’t unfold the way I wanted it to, I remembered to use Louise L. Hay’s Forgiveness Affirmation from her book, You Can Heal Your Life. “I forgive you for not being the way I wanted you to be. I forgive you and I set you free.” I repeated this a few times.
And then I went back to thinking. And then I realized what the issue was.
When I first met this person, I had felt this same exact feeling. In fact, in all of our exchanges, I have been the one to initiate from the heart, I feel, and have 90% of the time, was left feeling unsatisfied.
Now, this is not the other person’s “fault.” I was shown from the beginning how this relationship was—and that’s not to say that relationships can’t change (after all life changes)—but since I have consistently been shown this, it’s not fair for me to get upset. I had registered this on some level of consciousness, but it wasn’t until this recent exchange and my willingness to understand why I was feeling the way that I was feeling, that it finally sank in.
So, moving forward, I can either accept that this is how this relationship will always be and make peace with it. Or I can say something to this person—not with the intention of trying to change them—just speaking from the heart. Or, I can take more responsibility for balancing the energy that I choose to put into the relationship and come to a decision that I genuinely feel good about.
My feelings were communicating to me all along. I’m glad I finally slowed down enough and consciously chose to listen♥ -- I.O.