In Chapter 23 of Jane Austen's Persuasion, after being so moved by Captain Harville's personal and heart stirring account of how deeply Man can love, Anne Elliot replies:
"Oh!" cried Anne eagerly, "I hope I do justice to all that is felt by you,and by those who resemble you. God forbid that I should undervalue the warm and faithful feelings of any of my fellow-creatures! I should deserve utter contempt if I dared to suppose that true attachment and constancy were known only by woman. No, I believe you capable of everything great and good in your married lives. I believe you equal to every important exertion, and to every domestic forbearance, so long as--if I may be allowed the expression--so long as you have an object. I mean while the woman you love lives, and lives for you. All the privilege I claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one; you need not covet it), is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone."
Loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Do Unto Others
Several evenings ago I was walking behind a man on the streets when he happened to glance back. Upon seeing me, he reached into his coat pocket, fished something out and tried to hand it to me. Seeing it was a business card advertising hair braiding I automatically replied, “No. Thank you.”
“What are you thanking me for?!” was his seemingly annoyed response. “You didn’t take it.”
I was surprised-- so surprised in fact, that I didn’t really have the clarity to formulate a comeback.
Having briefly worked handing out flyers on street corners, I knew how it felt to be ignored by the masses. Plus, I was secretly afraid of turning into someone that automatically used selective tunnel vision to deal with seemingly random day to day interactions with strangers. Yes I had no interest in the card, but I wanted to be polite and acknowledge his attempt and his presence—just like I would have liked him to respond to me had I been in his shoes.
I didn’t tell him any of this and frankly, he didn’t look like he really cared for a reply.
Luckily, we had come to the end of our journey together as I crossed the street and he continued on his way. But even as the distance between us grew, he continued speaking and finally I called out in parting, “Don’t worry about it.”
Although now (and admittedly with unabashed mischievous inclination) I find myself wishing that instead I had smiled warmly and called out, “Thank you kindly! Have a great evening!”
“What are you thanking me for?!” was his seemingly annoyed response. “You didn’t take it.”
I was surprised-- so surprised in fact, that I didn’t really have the clarity to formulate a comeback.
Having briefly worked handing out flyers on street corners, I knew how it felt to be ignored by the masses. Plus, I was secretly afraid of turning into someone that automatically used selective tunnel vision to deal with seemingly random day to day interactions with strangers. Yes I had no interest in the card, but I wanted to be polite and acknowledge his attempt and his presence—just like I would have liked him to respond to me had I been in his shoes.
I didn’t tell him any of this and frankly, he didn’t look like he really cared for a reply.
Luckily, we had come to the end of our journey together as I crossed the street and he continued on his way. But even as the distance between us grew, he continued speaking and finally I called out in parting, “Don’t worry about it.”
Although now (and admittedly with unabashed mischievous inclination) I find myself wishing that instead I had smiled warmly and called out, “Thank you kindly! Have a great evening!”
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