So...

There are times when I put myself "out there" and when I get no response, I feel as though the silence speaks volumes about my worth.

Intellectually I understand that how a person chooses to act or not act is more of a reflection of himself/herself as opposed to of me. And although I know this, while in the moment, it is an emotional tug of war not to take the potentially perceived slight personally-- even if prior to reaching out I swore to myself that I wouldn't be negatively affected if I received no response.

I guess I'm looking outside of myself for some form of validation, aka love, and, honestly, I'd like to stop this search as no one can fill me with worth from the outside in.

Intellectually, I know I am enough. I guess the more I practice knowing this while in the moment, the easier it will be to live it as second nature.

In the interim, I ask God and all my angels and metaphysical friends to help me with my fear of being less than. I say I've had enough with building my castles on sand! Help me build it on solid ground. I'd really love your help.

Thank you

Misunderstanding in Communicating

“…nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” (Hamlet, Act. 2, Sc. 2).

I had an exchange over the internet today and I have regrets on how I played my part. I don’t regret the lesson I have learned from it, but I feel sad that I wasn’t able to communicate my intentions clearly so as not to lead to misunderstanding.

Honestly? I wish I felt blameless.

Isn’t it funny that because of this incident, I shall go to bed tonight with less peace than when I awoke this morning?

“…I would forget it fain;/ But, oh, it presses to my memory/ Like damned guilty deeds to sinners minds…” (R&J, Act. 3, Sc. 2).

I have taken action to try to rectify it.

I hope my apology will be well received.

And if it is not, at least I now know to never go down this particular path again...

But what a bitter pill to swallow in order to gain this insight.

Dear Archangel Michael, I would really love your help with this. Please take care of the consequences of my actions—heal this relationship and help the best possible outcome to occur. I thank you with all my heart. Amen.